The Dungeon

Mas informacion

2008-07-31T23:15:00.000-07:00

So I can't remember when my last update was, but here's another...

I survived Germany, for the most part, and had a great time in Prague. I am currently in Munich. My next city is Frankfurt. After that, Paris, and then the trail. I really wish that I could sit here and write about all that I am doing, but the internet here costs $3 an hour... freakin ridiculous. Anyway, I will write a bit more later.

Das Backpack

2008-07-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

So as many of you already know, my trip has changed a bit. As a result of that, I am currently in a hostel in Dusseldorf waiting for it to stop raining. My next two cities are Hamburg and Berlin, which I will get to later this week. I found out today that Brandi is taking a trip to paris in a few weeks, so I will have a full week there to hang out and sleep in a room with less than ten people!

All is well so far on the trip. There have been a few sketchy days, but I am figuring out how all these crazy Europeans operate. Here are the places I've seen, and my impressions so far:

Amsterdam: Ok, not quite as crazy as you think it would be. Even the van Gogh museum was a bit of a letdown... it was crowded and noisy and expensive.

The Hague (Scheveningen): Absolutely great... All of the perks of Amsterdam, but located on the beach, and home to a reggae group named Splendid that is very good live. (They also have an M.C. Escher museum that is A-mazing.)

Antwerp: Lots of fun... as well as lots of Jews, but not like Adam Sandler Jewish... like, "I own a diamond store" Jew. Good times. I saw two free concerts here, one jazz and the other blues.

Leuven: Great town with lots of students. Spent the whole night talking with a few locals.

I don't really know what to think about Dusseldorf yet, but after I go out and see what the city is about, I will let everyone know.

I hope everyone is happy and healthy,

Kyle

And So It Begins...

2008-07-08T23:03:00.000-07:00

I am sure that I will be starting a new blog for this trip, but I am too tired to do it now. I am in Amsterdam, and doing everything I can to fight the relentless grip that is jetlag. The flights yesterday were horrible (as usual), but the city is beautiful and the people are very nice. Today, I am planning on visiting the Van Gogh museum among other places... That's all for now.

Genius

2008-06-20T09:15:00.001-07:00

From a cool blog I stumbled upon this morning.

Wanna Stop Global Warming... Just Be Cool.

2008-06-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

I know that all my "enlightened" far left Obama lovin' friends will give me crap about this until the day we all freeze to death, but I am just intellectually unable to believe that our world is going to die from global warming. I posted a bunch of stuff on this topic a few months back (here), and I found another interesting and relevant article today. The article is a transcript of John Coleman's (Founder of the Weather Channel) address to the San Diego Chamber of Commerce. I only wish there were more people that weren't afraid to stand up to this crap.

P.S. I am totally for protecting our planet, but it should done out of love for our planet... not out of a baseless and paranoid fear of death.

The Next Journey

2008-06-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

Last night at dinner, Sarah told me about this video that she saw on YouTube about this mountain path in Southern Spain. I just finished watching it, and it is one of the coolest things I have seen in many years. Here it is:

(Notice that the guy filming this is wearing a backpack and is NOT tied to a safety line like everyone else in the video... CRAAAAZY!)

I'm going... Sorry mom

Music To Board Your Planes By

2008-06-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

As I continue to approach this new phase in my life, I find myself being drawn not so much to new music but to the music that already I know and love. I think it all comes down to an anxiousness that only comfortable music can appease. So, in light of my return to what is known, I've compiled a list, in no particular order, of the 10 (or so) albums that are gently pushing me towards the unknown:

Ween- The Mollusk

These guys are one of the most creative bands that I have ever heard. They incorporate all kinds of crazy sounds in their records, yet they maintain a very accessible sound.

Album highlights:

"Mollusk"
"Golden Eel"
"Pink Eye (On My Leg)"
"Ocean Man"

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Fever To Tell

There's something about grungy/quirky front-women that gets me blood a boilin'. I can't help it. This is a release that's full of eighties inspired fun fun fun.

Album highlights:
"Date With The Night"
"Black Tongue"
"Cold Night"
"Y Control"

SunnO)))- Oracle

This is music that's meant to be played very loud and very late at night (It's a shame that you usually can't do that). If you're looking for dark, you got it. If your looking for heavy, you got it. If your looking for slow, you got it.

Album highlights: (There are only two tracks, and they are both good)

"Belulrol Pusztit"
"Orakulum"

Sly And The Family Stone- There's A Riot Goin On

Quite possibly the smoothest album in my entire collection. This album serves me best on Saturday morning. It gets me hyped up without all the aggression that typically accompanies my favorite music.

Album highlights:
"Poet"
"Family Affair"
"Brave And Strong"
"My Gorilla Is My Butler"

Rapid Ric and Chamillionaire- The Whut It Dew Mixtape Vol. 1 (Chopped and Screwed by OG Ron C)

What can I say, I'm from Houston. I still remember the first time I heard a screw tape... what a great day that was.

Album highlights:
"Smoke, Drank (Texas Remix)"
"Color Changin' Freestyle"
"3 Kings"
"Goin' Down Freestyle"
"Country Life"

Boris- Rainbow (with Michio Kurihara) and The Soundtrack For Mabuta no Ura

Boris is the only band to make it on this list twice, and there's good reason for it... They are amazing. Boris are proof that music transcends everything that is geography/culture/language. My favorite albums from them are their more doom centered endeavors, but lately I've been enjoying their more psychedelic releases.

Album highlights (Rainbow):

"Rafflesia"
"Starship Narrator"
"Fuzzy Reactor"

Album highlights (Mabuta no Ura):

"Slow Ripple Of A Puddle"
"Melting Guitar"
"Smoke Sequence"
"Picture Of A Wind"

Supertramp- Breakfast In America

Those that actually read this blog on a quasi-regular basis are familiar with my recent issue regarding this album. Well it seems as if the gods of music knew what they were doing. Since they began stalking me, I have been "forced" to acquire their entire discography and bask in the glory that is British prog-rock.

Album highlights:

"The Logical Song"
"Breakfast In America"
"Goodbye Stranger"
"Oh Darling"

Deltron 3030- Deltron 3030

This is a record that was suggested to me by an old friend who sadly has really horrible taste in music, so naturally it took me a while to realize the genius that is rapping in the year 3030 with Dan The Automator on the 1's and 2's.

Album highlights:

"3030"
"Virus"
"Upgrade (A Brymar College Course)"
"Madness"
"Memory Loss"

Plankeye- Relocation

This is an album I purchased almost ten years ago. As everyone knows, I am typically not a fan of pop-rock, but there is something (a certain hovering sadness, maybe?) about these guys that hits me every time I hear them.

Album highlights:

"I Can't Complain"
"Goodbye"
"Break My Fall"

Weedeater- 16 Tons

In my opinion, these guys are (by far) the best pure southern metal band ever. Every single note is saturated with that warm, deep-South sludge that I know and love. I can rock this on repeat indefinitely, but I have to give everyone else a chance too.

Album highlights:

"Bull"
"Potbelly"
"Lines"
"Riff"

Bye Bye (must be read doing your best impression of John McLaughlin)

Another BeardMagic Joint

2008-06-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

I sat a my desk for about an hour, writing- then deleting, writing- then deleting. Finally, I decided that, for this topic, there's just no way around it. You have been warned.

Read this, then read this.

I have only one thing to say about this, and it is directed at Mr. Lee.

Mr. Lee, you bring up slavery in a discussion about movies and then immediately claim to take the high road... give me a fucking break.

You are a weak and foolish man who claims to desire an end to racism, but the sad fact of the matter is that you thrive off of this racism. Without it, you have nothing left. So go ahead... yell down to me from your penthouse suite about how oppressed you are; yell as loud as you can, and maybe, just maybe, one day your voice will whisper through the silencing filter that is your own hypocrisy.

P.S. I've decided not to bring up the fact that you told The Guardian last month that Rev. Wright "needs to shut up right now". I mean, that would make you look like even more of a racist, hypocritical asshole, and I certainly don't want to do that.

The Dungeon^2

2008-06-07T06:32:00.000-07:00

Train a dog to stay, and he will pee on the floor. Train a dog to dance, and he will pee all over the place.

Today Is The Shadow Of Tomorrow...

2008-06-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

"Teens losing touch with common historical and cultural references" That is the headline for a semi- recent USA Today article (I wrote this about a month ago and forgot to post it). Among other things, the story reports that out of 1200 17 yr. olds, less that 50% knew that the civil war was fought between 1850 and 1900. The findings are the result of a study conducted by American Enterprise Institute, "a private, non-partisan, not-for-profit dedicated to research and education on issues of government, politics, economics and social welfare."

Rick Hess, the author of the study stated, "If you think it matters whether or not kids have common historical touchstones and whether, at some level, we feel like members of a common culture, then familiarity with this knowledge matters a lot."

Though I strongly agree that the American public education system is a total joke, I am not convinced that it really matters that kids these days know when the Civil War was fought... and there are many reasons why. Here are a few:

1) In today's world, knowing when the Civil War was fought is not nearly as important as knowing how to send attachments in emails or how to embed video in a Powerpoint presentation. Never in my life has my job depended on knowing who Robert E. Lee was, or which naval ship was called "Old Ironsides" (USS Constitution). Is it nice to know these things? Yes. Will knowing these things ever get me a promotion? No.

2) In the past, history (life) moved at a much slower pace. It took a week for your grandmother to receive a letter that you wrote her; it took five days to go from San Fransisco to New York. Nowadays, I can get from Frisco to New York and back while talking to my grandmother on a cell phone in less than 15 hours. This increase in "life-pace" and our drive to be the hyper industrious superpower of the world has forced us to focus on different categories of things. So sadly, all the people that fought for us to become the superpower that we are have inadvertently created a culture that has neither the time or the space to remember them.

2b) On a slightly different but related note, the technology that has sped up our lives (and thus making impossible to remember "historical" things) has also made it unnecessary for us to remember. If I don't know who hit the most home runs in the 1927 World Series, it's not a big deal. I can find that information probably faster than the old man who was sitting at the game can remember it. The easy access to information has made it less important to keep that information in our brains.

I will leave with a excerpt from Quasimoto (the rapper, not the hunchback):

The wisdom of the past is the light of the past
The light which is to be the wisdom of the future
The light of the future casts the shadows of tomorrow

Out Of The Blue

2008-06-05T10:29:00.000-07:00

In thirty-two days, yours truly will abandon his cushy West Texas existence and hop over the pond to once again visit the Old World. This time, however, things will be a little different. I have traded the study abroad program and host families for a pair of new hiking boots and long, winding roads. Instead of sitting in class all day and venturing out on guided tours with countless others, I will be walking alone... walking until I see the ocean.

As the days until my departure slowly (quickly) melt away, this unborn journey has taken on a life of its own. It has transformed from a novel idea, i.e. "Dude, how awesome would it be if..." to a terrifyingly exciting reality. I have dreamed many nights and naps about this trek. I have dreamed of every person that I will meet, of every cathedral/bar/museum that I will enter. But I know that these dreams are only my mind's way of trying to grasp that of which it is ignorant. Honestly, I have no idea what I will see or who I meet or what I will do... and that is, in every sense of the word, "the point" (or lack thereof).

I have been in Lubbock for over five years- my entire adult life. I am comfortable here, and I am happy here; but I am in no way, shape or form challenged here. I can see myself settling here for a very long time, doing jobs very similar to the one that I currently have for a wage very similar to the one I currently make. And at the end of the day, that scares me. It worries me to think that I can already see myself sustaining a completely mediocre existence simply because it's easy. It scares me so much more than putting a bag on my back and walking halfway across a continent 5,000 miles from anyone that I know. There is nothing that I fear in this unknown. I can't find a reason to fear anything. Because even I do not succeed, even if this event reappears one day as chapter five entitled "Kyle's Greatest Failure", I will only end up right back where I was before I started, with a chance to do something else.

In the past when I have been asked about this trip, I have had a difficult time explaining my motivations and reasons for leaving, and I now know why. I am not going for any religious reason, and I am not going for "adventure". I am going to escape these "wide open spaces" that so quietly seem to be slowly closing in on me. Maybe it's just the manifestation of my generation's Utopian ideas of life vs. labor, or my idealistic pursuit of perfection in the world. I'll say this... I don't yet know what I want right now(who does?), but I do know exactly what I don't want... especially right now, and that is 40% of my life spent in a basement working for someone half as intelligent as myself who is making twice the money that I am.

I am going to see my world and everything, good and bad, that it has to offer me.

P.S. I don't know if I have mentioned this yet, but one of my favorite people in the world, is leaving on the 6th of June to complete the Texas 4000. I think this is one of the coolest things that people my age are doing, and if I hadn't planned my trip before I learned about this, I would be doing it as well. Here is a link to her page on the main site.

P.P.S. hehehe I said P.P.

Lying Cheating Liberals

2008-06-04T11:53:00.000-07:00

Peter Schweizer recently published an article ( here) on the examiner.com which cites various studies indicating that liberals are much less honest than conservatives.

It's a good article. You should read it.

Geohashing

2008-06-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

For a simple implementation of this idea, visit this site:

Map

(Just click your current location and enter the date.)

Polygamatics

2008-06-03T11:34:00.000-07:00

-Children Returned-

So it's finally over. The State of Texas has released the 440 children that they forcefully removed from the care of their parents weeks ago. Luckily, the State Supreme Court ruled that the state had no right to remove the children and that they are all free to go back to their parents.

Don't start clapping yet... There are still plenty of things wrong with this situation. How bout we run through them all real quick-like, ok?

1. The children are not being returned to their parents. They are being released to the custody of their parents. Meaning that the children are being held in facilities all around the state, and that the parents (who had their children stolen from them) now have to make the journey across our wonderful state to go pick them up.

This is retarded. The state should get everyone one of those children and deliver them to their doorstep, with full bellies and a recent shower. Personally, I think the kids deserve a limo, but I'm not holding my breath on that one.

2. The Department of Family and Protective Services still has the right to show up unannounced to inspect their ranch and interview any of the children at any time with no interference from the parents.

Also retarded. If the State ruled that they were innocent enough to keep their children, why are State agencies still allowed to come and search their houses? It makes no sense.

3. The FLDS members are required to give the State prior notice on any trip that takes them more than 100 miles from their home or out of the State.

Still retarded.

The great State of Texas has messed up quite badly here. They have violated just about every rule in the book, and once again they will come out of this unscathed. Why? Because we have successfully created a culture where the word "fundamentalist" equals "evil". In this era of terror, anytime we hear the word fundamentalist, we assume that someone is getting killed or raped or are in some way mentally deficient.

No one gives them credit for having the guts to maintain religious beliefs that are, for one thing, illegal and also considered "backwards" by the majority of the country. I think that what they do is great. I don't agree with what they believe, but the fact that they won't give up what they believe just to fit in with society is freakin awesome.

The problem is that we don't ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe these people are happy... I mean truly happy living their lives. Who cares if they think that men should have more than one wife? If those men want to put up with more than one wife, I say go for it. Because if we don't allow them to live their lives; if we don't start respecting other religions; and if the State of Texas continues to abuse sects like the FLDS, their steadfast ways will slowly change. Eventually, they will go on the offensive. You can only pick on someone for so long before they hit back.

These people intentionally separate themselves from the rest of society because they want to be left alone to practice their religion the way they see fit.
So how about we just leave them alone.

P.S. Nancy Grace, I hate you.

Why Would I Ever Want Kippers For Breakfast?

2008-05-23T13:09:00.000-07:00

So I am going to try not to dwell on the fact that I have neglected this poor blog for almost a full month. All I can say is, "I'm sorry". Now onto other business.

Supertramp is officially the stalker of the music world, and I am their poor, poor victim. A few weeks ago I was dominating some friends at a little game of Tiger Woo!!!! while listening to Breakfast In America by Supertramp. Since that fateful day, I have encountered a song from that record at least once a day, and it's starting to bother me. It's so bad that I actually had a dream where I was playing the sax to this song (odd, considering that I don't play the sax).

The stalking has gotten so severe that I have had to resort to desperate measures. This morning I put on The Logical Song whilst I clothed myself, hoping that my direct confrontation with this beast would defer any chance encounters later in the day, allowing me to feel that I have maintained at least some control over my sonic destiny. So I dressed, I listened, I enjoyed, and I headed off to work. Later I went to lunch at Sauzón (they have killer fajita tacos), and immediately after placing my order I hear that bastard Roger Hodgson and his electric piano. It literally ruined my day. I like Supertramp; I think their great. Recently though, they are starting to act that that ex-girlfriend that sends you text messages at 4 in the morning on a Tuesday even though you haven't seen her in almost six months... they are annoying me.

I just don't know what to do. I don't even have to have the radio on anymore to encounter this nuisance. The other day there were references made to Supertramp on the Simpsons and the Office... ON THE SAME NIGHT!!!!! I think I'm losing my mind.

Just so I'm not alone:

For Your Enjoyment

2008-05-05T12:25:00.000-07:00

So I stumbled across this page the other day, and I enjoy it. You should too.

Hilarity

Aggies... Enough Said

2008-05-01T13:12:00.000-07:00

A group of engineering students at texas a & m have spent the last few months on the forefront of human ability, in fact they have gone beyond it. What have they done? They have made a robot that can achieve 97% accuracy on the hardest level of Guitar Hero. I know... I am amazed as well, amazed that any university would actually allow state resources to be used to build such a worthless piece of crap.

I'm not saying that these kids aren't smart. I couldn't build a Nintendo-loving robot as talented as Slashbot, but I am saying that these kids used their senior projects to build a machine whose only function is to play a single video game. I can almost see how useful this will be. According to a quote from the story I found in the DT, one of the group members, Vinny Lapenna, stated, "We wanted to work on a project... that we would really get something out of."

I really can't overstate how ridiculous this is.

Randoms

2008-05-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

Babies

Lesbians Want Human Rights

NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME

Dirty Disney

I Will Never Date This Guy's Daughter

More Felons in the Forces... Todo Está Bien.

2008-04-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

According to a news blurb from Breitbart.com, the armed forces are now enlisting a greater number of convicted felons. I've heard this topic discussed many times over the past few years, and I've heard various opinions. Personally, I think it's great, and I would even take it a step further. (If you are one of the people that signs the "Stop Social Injustice" board outside the Student Union, or you regularly refer to Darfur in casual conversation, you may not like the following section.)

I think it's perfectly acceptable for the Armed Forces to enlist anyone they want, and I would encourage them to recruit and enlist as many felons as they possibly can... Why? Well, because at the moment we have hundreds of thousands of men and women behind bars (due in large part to "minor" drug offenses) sitting around doing nothing. Instead of having all of them make license plates, why don't we have them provide a service that we actually need?

A current marine left a comment on the article stating:

"I totally believe in second chances but I am a bit scared of what this sudden influx of anyone and everyone being able to enlist in the Corps will do. We are an elite fighting force because of the standards that we have and I don’t feel that dropping those standards will accomplish the overall goal of strengthening our Corps. Numbers do not equal strength. "

Good point, except that every felon that enters the Marine Corps will be held to the same "standards" as everyone else. The reason the Marines are considered elite is due to the training that they offer... not their entry requirements (Last time I checked, having a high school diploma and no psyciatric record didn't really qualify as elite... I think commonplace would be a better word for it) Besides, the military has long been a place to go if you want to get your life straightened out. Many of my friends and family members have joined to get their priorities in order... and it has worked.

I say send the felons over there and give them a chance to redeem themselves. Work out a "service for freedom" plan where they can expedite their sentence if they serve for a certain amount of time. Then after that program is a huge success, we can start the same one for people up to their eyeballs in debt (Serve for two years and knock $100,000 off your debt), and then we can start one for homeless people... etc. The U.S. could put all of these people to good use who are otherwise not (really) contributing to society, and (harshly put) their deaths would not be as detrimental to the U.S. as other soldiers', just as tragic, but not as detrimental.

2008-04-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

"Above this race of men stands an immense and tutelary power, which takes upon itself alone to secure their gratifications, and to watch over their fate. That power is absolute, minute, regular, provident, and mild. It would be like the authority of a parent, if, like that authority, its object was to prepare men for manhood; but it seeks on the contrary to keep them in perpetual childhood : it is well content that the people should rejoice, provided they think of nothing but rejoicing. For their happiness such a government willingly labors, but it chooses to be the sole agent and the only arbiter of float happiness: it provides for their security, foresees and supplies their necessities, facilitates their pleasures, manages their principal concerns, directs their industry, regulates the descent of property, and subdivides their inheritances - what remains, but to spare them all the care of thinking and all the trouble of living? Thus it every day renders the exercise of the free agency of man less useful and less frequent; it circumscribes the will within a narrower range, and gradually robs a man of all the uses of himself. The principle of equality has prepared men for these things: it has predisposed men to endure them, and oftentimes to look on them as benefits. After having thus successively taken each member of the community in its powerful grasp, and fashioned them at will, the supreme power then extends its arm over the whole community. It covers the surface of society with a network of small complicated rules, minute and uniform, through which the most original minds and the most energetic characters cannot penetrate, to rise above the crowd. The will of man is not shattered, but softened, bent, and guided: men are seldom forced by it to act, but they are constantly restrained from acting : such a power does not destroy, but it prevents existence; it does not tyrannize, but it compresses, enervates, extinguishes, and stupefies a people, till [this] nation is reduced to be nothing better than a flock of timid and industrious animals, of which the government is the shepherd." - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

Found Here

Too Real For The Streets

2008-04-17T08:41:00.000-07:00

Being a rap superstar is getting harder and harder everyday. Once upon a time, all you had to do was get on stage and recite well rhyming poetry and you were in. These days that's just not enough. There is street cred that has to be earned. "Well, how does one go about earning this 'street cred'." I am so glad you asked. Below you will find my short list of requirements to break into the rap industry.

How to become a Rap Star:

1. Sell Drugs (This is the most important aspect of the rap culture. Whether or not you do drugs is irrelevant as long as you sold them at least once).
2. Buy Guns (The Bigger, The Better, Think Tony Montana).
3. Show off Your Money (Even if you don't own a Bentley, rent one for the video).
4. Go to Jail (because every real gangsta spends some time locked down... it's the only way to gain the motivation not to get caught again).
or....
5. Get Shot (This is the easiest way to become a gangsta... but it does have its downfalls).

As long as you have a minor ability to recite rhyming lines to a beat, just follow those five steps and you will be on your way to the top. However, if selling dope and going to jail just isn't your thing, here's what you do:

You just make it all up.

The Smoking Gun reported that the vast majority of Akon's biography of violence and incarceration has been completed fabricated, or at the very least highly embellished. It seems that his entire musical and/or artistic identity is based on prison time and violence... neither of which he has ever had much to do with. Even I have heard rumors of him owning diamond mines and cutting peoples' hands off, and at the time I didn't even know who this guy was.

In reality, every "thug rapper" is a fake, or at least a poor example of what they claim to be. Real gangsters don't wear Scarface shirts and big gold chains and have $200,000 grills in their mouths. They wake up in the morning, they put on their suit, they go make some money, and they keep their mouth shut. Lil Wayne (an honorary Blood released a song in which the lyrics state, "Cuz killers don't get heard about. They get whispered about, or you get murdered out." Well, Mr. Lil you seem to be the only one talking.

Though still a character, Denzel Washington's part in American Gangster is probably the closest pop culture example of true gangster life. And to be quite honest, I don't mind those kinds of gangsters nearly as much as the mindless thugs that MTV tries to pass off as killers. Why? Because gangsters have class and maintain a code of honor, albeit one that the government does not agree with. A thug will do a drive-by and paint your house with bullets until he hits you, while a gangster will ring your doorbell, sit down in your living room and explain to you why he's about to kill you.

Anyway, that's enough of my philosophy on gangsters... bottom line:

You cannot be a gangster and have a career that requires you to do nothing but boast about how gangster you are... it just doesn't work like that. Oh, and Akon is still a horrible artist that deserves to be fired from his label, never to work in music again.

... To Clean All This Up

2008-04-09T06:13:00.000-07:00

I am beginning to think that we (America) are becoming the most ridiculously self-centered government in the entire universe and that we are loosing all touch with anything and everything that could be considered reality.

Yesterday, General Petraeus was on Capitol Hill discussing his plans and ideas for the conflict in Iraq. Among the topics that were covered, one of them stuck out as completely ridiculous... partially because it's a horrible idea, and partially because it was the only topic covered by the media =)

In the proceedings, Sen. Carl Levin, Chairman of the Senate Armed Services committee, stated that we need to, "...put continuous and increasing pressure on the Iraqis to settle their political differences, to pay for their own reconstruction with their oil windfalls, and to take the lead in conducting military operations."

According to the article that I found, Iraq has more than $30 billion in oil revenues being saved in the U.S., and judging by the current market, they will probably have a lot more in the next few years. So I guess it all works out then. Iraq can pay for reconstruction and we can all go home when this thing is finally over, Right? Right.

WRONG! I want to know how much lead (paint) Senator Biden has eaten in his life, because he just hopped up (almost) to the top of my "Successful Short-Bussers" list. I also want to know why in the hell he thinks this is a good idea, because there is no way that this is actually a good idea... Now I sat here for about twenty minutes rewording and reformatting the following section, trying to make it work... but it just won't. So I am just going to lay it all out on the table and see what happens. Here is how I see this whole situation:

We thought it would be a good idea to start a war with Iraq. Arguably, we were wrong. Now we want the Iraqi people to pay for our decisions for us. Now, on paper this plan looks pretty good.

Step 1- Start a war.

Step 2- Have someone else pay for it.

The only problem is that most people/governments aren't very willing to drop billions of dollars to clean up a mess that is someone else's fault.

Let's say China comes over here and overthrows our government, destroys a vast amount of our infrastructure, and kills a couple hundred thousand Americans. Then they say to us, "Um, Yeah. So we're going to need you to, um, pay for all the damage we've done to your country because we're, uh you know, just paying so damn much for gas these days. I mean, have you seen the prices lately? It's $3.25 a gallon! So, uh, if you could, just take care of all that and, uh, while you're at it... don't teach your children to hate us, because we actually saved you from a horrible situation. Ok, see you later"

Does that sound right to you? Because it doesn't to me. It's like going to a friend's (enemy's) house, seeing a bee on their pillow, taking a crap all over their bed (with the morally justified intention of ridding the bedroom of such tyrannical insectualism) , and making them pay for new sheets because the eggs you ate were too expensive. Give me a break. I quit.

A Day (Or Two Or Three) Late

2008-04-08T10:09:00.000-07:00

The All American, gunslingin, ape killin, chariot racin' man that we all know and love has died. Charlton Heston, one of the most hardcore men on the face of the planet died on April 5th after battling (among other things) prostate cancer and Alzheimer's.

Despite (or maybe even because of) his less than hospitable portrayal in Michael Moore's Bowling For Columbine, I still think that Heston is a man to be admired. As an avid opponent of gun control (as am I) he brought a new level of publicity to the NRA, most notably for his quote regarding his "cold dead hands."
He was a very outspoken supporter of civil rights, and has petitioned for ethnic equality for many years. The thing I like about him the most is his grandpa-like conservative thought. I think my favorite quote from him is from a speech in 1997 commenting on a culture that had grown to despise him...

...the God fearing, law-abiding, Caucasian, middle- class Protestant-or even worse, evangelical Christian, Midwestern or Southern- or even worse, rural, apparently straight-or even worse, admitted heterosexuals, gun-owning-or even worse, NRA-card-carrying, average working stiff-or even worse, male working stiff-because, not only don’t you count, you are a down-right obstacle to social progress. Your voice deserves a lower decibel level, your opinion is less enlightened, your media access is insignificant, and frankly, mister, you need to wake up, wise up, and learn a little something from your new-America and until you do, would you mind shutting up?

I must say that I (you) have encountered this mindset throughout the media and the university system, and I think it's total crap.

Bottom Line: Heston Rules...

Random

2008-04-07T11:24:00.000-07:00

So it's Monday yet again. My work schedule is "full to the brim", meaning that I now have a mere 20 minutes a day to grace you with my literary skilz.

This weekend was simultaneously eventful and completely unproductive. Friday night we went to the First Friday Art Trail. For those of you who have never experienced the First Friday, it is quite an extravaganza. Basically, local business owners open up their stores so that local artists can display their work and hopefully sell it. The businesses range from a company that refinishes bath tubs to a sandwich shop to the local Mercedes dealership. It's a fun time. You just walk all around the depot looking at a bunch of random art.

So anyway, after that we went to "The Bright House", which is a self named music "venue" near campus. It's just a house owned by some kids that really really want to be involved in the local scene, so they gave their house a catchy name and they host local bands every weekend. I was too tired that night to stay for the whole show, but what I saw was enjoyable.

Saturday we went to Whiskey Dix to see another show. This time it was Dirty Charlie, J. Scott (horrible), and Go To Hell. Dirty Charlie, who usually puts on a great show, was sub-par by anyone's standards. After Charlie finished up, some guy named J. Scott got up and proceeded to put EVERYONE to sleep. I won't say that he wasn't talented, it's just that he was playing music fit for a wine cellar not a whiskey bar... especially when the other two bands are 1) Dirty Charlie (Cowpunk) and 2. Go To Hell (Metal). The night ended up alright. Sunday I spent all day doing laundry, dishes and watching the Lord of The Rings Trilogy all the way through. It was marvelous.

This week is going to be a tad bit hectic. We have three, count em, three gigs weekend. We play at Mesquite's on Thursday or Friday night (we haven't decided), and we are playing two gigs on Saturday. First we play at a frat party, and immediately after that we roll on down to La Diosa for our four hour improv gig. It should be a great time.

That's all I have for now. I promise I will have something more interesting later.

So Much Drama In Tha LBK, It's Kinda Hard Bein' Tha B-A-R-B-A

2008-04-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

So it's official... I have an actual job. My job is so "actual" now that I no longer have time for work day blogging (hence the recent slump in posts). I have been slammed with a ton of responsibilities that once rested quite comfortably on other highly qualified shoulders, but have now been forced under my command.

When I started my IT job at the Lab, I was the assistant to the Lab's TWO IT guys (both Computer Science doctoral students). Well, almost immediately after I was hired, they were both offered teaching positions at Tech and left me to manage the Lab alone (with no previous IT experience or knowledge). No worries... even after they left, there was still one more IT guy in the building that I could go to if it hit the fan. He was a CS major in college and has worked in IT for over ten years. His job is to take care of all of the teacher's offices, and I am responsible for the lab and all the classrooms.

Well, as of next Friday he is leaving the department to go work for a bank, so that means that I will be the only line of technology support for the entire department. And on top of that, I will be maintaining 2 computer labs as well as all of the faculty computers. Basically what it boils down to it that I am now doing a job that 9 months ago they paid four people to do... I am so glad I am leaving soon. I could gripe about work all day long, but you never know who is reading this crap.

Good News:

I have finally found my camera, WOOT^10!!! Apparently I left it in Ryan's glove box when we went to Horseshoe Bay... last semester! After finding the camera, I looked through all the pictures that were left on it, and I was surprised by what I found. There were pictures on my camera from a party last summer, and everyone at the party looks like they are WAAAAY younger than they do now. I think a lot of it has to do with the overall lack of hair that everyone had... especially myself and Taylor. The pictures were all taken during the clean-cut catering days when "Barba Magica" was merely an idea, and Taylor had not yet perfected the pederast mustache. It's amazing how little you notice someone aging when you see them all the time.

The band is still chugging along strong... my bass died the other day, and I have been to lazy to fix it, so I am currently playing a $95 Wal-Mart-quality bass. But, to be perfectly honest it plays decently and it sounds ok too. There is just a certain level of pride that I like to take in my equipment that this guitar does not allow. It's like showing up to a drag race in a rusted out Charger with duct tape holding the hood on... you may get to the finish line first, but you're going to look like crap doing it.
Somehow we have managed to schedule at least one gig a week for the rest of my time here, and I think that's amazing. When you consider that we have the collective memory of a goldfish (maybe two), it's impressive that we even show up for our gigs in the first place, but we do and all is flowing smoothly. Hopefully we can make it stay that way.

It's time for me to go home. Goodbye for now.

Eight O'Clock And All's Well

2008-03-26T06:01:00.000-07:00

So, there's not much going on these days; even the news seems a little slow. Almost the entire media is somehow still captivated by this presidential election when nothing has changed in two to three months. Yes, Hillary lied about Bosnia; yes, Obama's preacher is a racist (just like everyone else).... we know this already.

I think the reason that American voter turnout is historically so low is because we endure an entire 365 days of campaigning, and by the time the election actually comes around... we're sick of it. Presidential politics is the only area where someone can contact you (through whatever form of media) for a solid year and say, "Hey, this guy stinks. I am much better; pick me." It's like picking teams for kickball in the fourth grade.

New Topic:

I postponed my Amarillo-Lubbock walk until the end of the semester due to some inconvenient concert scheduling. I am thinking of doing the walk either the weekend before or after Brian's wedding. I will keep everyone updated.

That's all I have for now... bye bye

An Apple A Day Keeps The Feds Away

2008-03-19T11:06:00.001-07:00

Apple is in talks with major record labels to introduce a new "all music included" service with its new generation of iPods. According to the article, Apple would tack on a premium charge to their iPods which would give customers full access to the iTunes store. This along with the announcement that "DVD Jon" has gained financial backing for his company DoubleTwist has made this a quasi-poor music lover's dream day.

DoubleTwist is a company that has, in the past few years, developed a program that circumvents Apple's Digital Rights Management software, allowing users to "unlock" songs purchased on the iTunes store... thus eliminating any sort of blockade to sharing music or movie files, and further streamlining the sharing process. Oh what a wonderful world we live in! Soon (after they support OSX) I will be able to download any songs I want and put them on any device I want. I never thought this day would come.

It's nice to see that the music industry is finally listening to the public and actually giving them what they want. Amazon has already begun to sell unprotected mp3's, and it appears that Apple will soon follow suit with an even bigger and better plan. The article suggests that Apple would (could) charge around $100 per iPod for unlimited download rights in the iTunes store (WOOT). Another avenue that they are considering is a subscription based model for the iPhone... but I'm not too sure about that one because:

The subscription models under discussion in the music industry include the provision for customers to keep up to 40 or 50 tracks a year, which they would retain even if they changed their device or their subscription lapses.

40 or 50 tracks per year? I must have missed something, because that is freakin retarded. The average album costs around $10 on iTunes and has anywhere from 7 to 12 songs. If they charged a monthly fee of $7, and you downloaded one album a month, you still wouldn't be able to keep all the songs downloaded, in fact, you would only be able to keep about half of them... you would be better off just buying the music outright.

This is a good day in the world of music, but there is still a lot of work that needs to be done. If you give someone "total access" to the iTunes store, it better be TOTAL access. I don't want to be told how many songs I can keep at the end of the year, but if it has to come to that, it needs to be more like 1500 to 2000 songs and not 40 or 50. I download that many songs on an average Saturday morning. Apple and Amazon (along with many others) are on the right track, as long as they keep their ears to street and listen to what the market wants the rivers will run green with the money that they will make.

BTW Gnarles Barkley's new album came out yesterday, and it's good. Go buy it (dowload it).

Imperialism Is The New Black

2008-03-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

In the next few months, people all over the world will join together via their televisions and internet connections to view the Olympic Games in Beijing... that is, as long as China can hold themselves together long enough to get through them.

Over the past week, the Associated Press has been reporting increasing levels of violence and protests in the province of Tibet. These protests have resulted in the deaths of 80 Tibetans, and the evacuation of all tourists and journalists from the region. Why are they fighting? To be honest, I don't really know. And by that I mean that I don't know why China even wants to hang on to Tibet.

From what I have been able to peace together (mostly from the all-knowing Wikipedia ;) this is why they are fighting:

Ignoring the long and complicated history of both the Chinese and Tibetan peoples, the conflict is centered around the British invasion of Tibet by Francis Younghusband. After his invasion, he signed a peace treaty with the Tibetan government in 1904. This treaty is viewed as one of the strongest claims of legitimacy by the Tibetan people. In the late 1940's and early 1950's, after Mao Zedong took over China, he ordered the Chinese military to "liberate" the Tibetan people. In 1959, the Dalai Lama fled to India, where he and his government remain in exile to this day.

Now, I am no political scientist, but I am sincerely unable to figure out why China has such a strong desire to hold onto Tibet. The easy answer is to say that they are imperialistic pigs, but it has to be something more than that, I just don't know what it is.

Here's why I am confused:

China's GDP is $10.21 trillion, coming in second only to the United States. In stark contrast, Tibet produces a GDP of just over $409 million. Furthermore, Tibetans pay zero taxes to the Chinese government.

The official religion of Tibet is Tibetan Buddhism, but China doesn't recognize any official religion and has historically been very disrespectful towards the Buddhist religion.

Lastly the population of Tibet is over 90% indigenous Tibetan while the Chinese account for just above 6%.

So, China gets no money from Tibet, they do not embrace their culture and/or religion, and they have almost no stake in the population. I say China needs to get the hell out and leave Tibet alone so the Dalai Lama can return to his homeland and rule his people after almost fifty years in exile.

Oh, and instead of using the Olympics to bolster your reputation around the world, how about you just stop killing people.

For more information, visit this website

Uh Oh

2008-03-08T11:29:00.000-08:00

A California appeals court ruled that parents are not allowed to homeschool their children unless they hold teaching credentials in the grade that their child is studying. For all intents and purposes, this is a complete ban on homeschooling for the entire state of California.

The court stated that, "... parents do not have a constitutional right to homeschool their children. Parents have a legal duty to see to their children's schooling under the provisions of these laws*."

*"These laws" was a reference to a decision in another case brought up in 1961... "A primary purpose of the educational system is to train school children in good citizenship, patriotism and loyalty to the state and the nation as a means of protecting the public welfare."

I want you to go back and read those two quotes again. Do you see anything wrong with those? Out of everything listed in the second quote: "good citiznship, patriotism and loyalty to the state and the nation"... none of those have anything to do with being a certified teacher. How is getting certified to teach first through sixth grade science going to improve your ability to teach your kids to love America?... It won't. In fact, the upholding of this law basically just introduced another 166,000 kids who will be taught, as a result of this ruling, that the government has no respect of concern for them.

I think that education is very important, but I don't think that a government education is very important at all. The public school system is trash. It has failed time and time again. We, as one of the world's superpowers, are lagging behind in education. Does that mean that everyone that goes to public school is an idiot? Of course not, but the vast majority of very well educated public school goers have/had parents that are involved in their education. The public school system offers nothing to a child that cannot be found in homeschooling.

But, Kyle... What about socializing? I'm glad you asked. After looking for less than 30 seconds, I was able to locate the names and contact information for over 60 homeschooling organiztions... and that was just in California. There are many opportunities to build a child's social abilities through homeschooling. There are sports teams all over the country that are comprised completely of homeschooled kids.

There is no reason why parents should not be allowed to homeschool their children. The state is taking no more a risk by allowing these kids to be homeschooled, than the parents are by allowing the public school system to educate their children.

In closing, I would like to present a list of people who were homeschooled:

Myself
George Patton
Douglas MacArthur
Robert E. Lee
Margaret Atwood (writer)
Albert Einstein
C.S. Lewis
Blaise Pascal
Joseph Pulitzer
Timothy Dwight (former president of Yale University)
Walt Whitman
Mozart
Benjamin Franklin

And that is just a small sample. There is no guarantee either way for homeschooling. It is not doomed to fail, and it is not sure to succeed. The case is no different with traditional schooling.

"Won't You Take Me Far Away From The Mucky-Muck"

2008-03-07T12:21:00.000-08:00

Every so often, the world of politics rises out of the sludge-slinging, hate-coddling environment that it seems so comfortable inhabiting. Well, today is not that day. Recently, Obama's top foreign policy aide, Samantha Power, showed the world once again how horrible and classless the world of politics can be. In an interview with The Scotsman, she made multiple unacceptable remarks regarding Clinton and her campaign.

Like most people, I encounter pure, shout-it-from-the-rooftop stupidity everyday, and I always hope that one day I will find a job where I will cease to be surrounded by utter incompetence. That Utopian dream has been cast into the great abyss labeled "Nice Try, But No Thanks"... just like Samantha Power's career. I cannot understand how someone who is so close to the top can just sit there and run their mouth off like she did... especially in the middle of a race that's as close as this one is.

Even if you exclude every single attack that she made on Hillary, she still dropped the f-bomb in an official interview. Are you kidding me? Personally, I have no problem with profanity. It does not offend me in the least bit. However, I know (with a few painful exceptions) when it's "appropriate" to use it. My grandparents will never hear me utter a single word of profanity. Why? Because I respect them, and I know that they have no desire to hear language of that magnitude. By using such language, Samantha Power displayed zero respect for her boss, his opponent, and the viewing (reading) public.

I don't care what you think of Hillary or Obama, but this sort of conduct should be completely unacceptable from either camp. If you were in a job interview, and you said half of the things that Ms. Power said, there is no way in Hades that you would get the job. The Presidency should be no different. I'm not saying that we should write off the entire Obama camp... I'm just saying that it's time for America to grow some class.

To the candidates:
Just once... JUST ONCE, try to win a campaign based strictly on your qualifications and your platform, and learn how to control your staff. Who cares if your opponent grew up with a Muslim background... or if they are an aging woman who won't release her taxes (We get it. you're all rich, and you have ALL received monies from not-so-squeaky-clean people. We expect nothing less). Will you win your campaign with this stategy? Probably not. But is winning an election worth your soul? Really?

To the American public:
WAKE UP!! Quit tolerating such ridiculous behavior from the group of people from
which we will choose our future leaders. (Almost) Everyone in the world hates their boss. Well, this is probably the only situation in your life when you get to pick who's in charge. If your candidate runs a campaign that constantly points fingers, your candidate will most likely run a Presidency that does the same. Try rewarding the respectable/responsible people with the nominations, and leave the muckrakers to wallow in their own shame. Will you (the American public) ever again elect a truly respectable person to the office of the President? Probably not. But the next time the shit hits the fan, listen hard. The words, "I told you so" will be wafting to and fro in the gentle breeze of your sorrow.

Have a Beautiful Day =)

La Revolucion Cubana

2008-03-06T06:28:00.000-08:00

This morning during my normal electronic meanderings, I stumbled across an article about a new wave of young Cubans that are using their computers to disseminate their opinions about their government.

It's kinda depressing to think that the majority of my time on the internet is spent watching youtube videos and reading blogs, while these kids (who have only recently gained access to the internet) are taking the initiative and using this amazing tool to try and change their country. These kids all have other jobs and responsibilities, but they still manage to make a difference in this cyber-universe. I actually get paid everyday to make sure that people are able to access the internet, and I still, my internet footprint is minuscule and unimportant.

I am a waste of Internet bandwidth.

After reading the article, I checked out the blog that it mentions, and I really like it. You can spend all day reading stories about places like Cuba, or watching documentaries about them, but nothing beats reading something written by someone who actually lives it. I encourage you guys to check out her blog... Don't worry, there's an English link at the top of the page: Generación Y

Petite Pistolas and Palindromes

2008-03-05T10:11:00.000-08:00

There isn't really much going on these days, but I felt like I needed to post something, so here you go:

World's Smallest Pistol

and

Genius Mimics Genius

Just a little something to waste some time. Mahalo

2008-03-02T14:04:00.000-08:00

All around you time uncurls
the never constant foundation of earth
through cosmic space ourselves we hurl
forever bound for rebirth

I can't imagine a nicer place to be than right now.

Another Inconvenient Truth

2008-02-27T06:48:00.000-08:00

So Mr. Al Gore invented the internet, won the presidential election, and saved the planet from global warming. Right? I'll let you decide the first two on your own, but the last one is positively, absolutely TRUE (jk)!

Due to the valiant efforts of Al Gore and other "Earth Lovers" everywhere, global warming has been fixed. That's right, you heard me correctly. It's fixed. There's no longer a need for biofuel or hybrids, so everyone can go back to driving their gas guzzling SUV's. Hell, you can even leave your cell phone chargers plugged in, because it doesn't matter anymore, we are home free.

All four major global temperature tracking outlets (Hadley, NASA's GISS, UAH, RSS) have released updated data. All show that over the past year, global temperatures have dropped precipitously.

Would you look at that... We all thought the world was going end, but apparently it was just hype, and/or baseless assumptions and predictions. As usual, it turns out that all we really needed to do was calm-the-hell-down, and not sensationalize what was nothing other than, what we in the know call, a "climate cycle".

I can see your doubts displayed prominently by a smug look of disbelief, but worry not. This is no minor temperature shift downward, blown out of proportion and distributed in order to spout "conservative truth-words" on the world... no, this is a big deal, a very big deal.

The total amount of cooling ranges from 0.65C up to 0.75C -- a value large enough to wipe out nearly all the warming recorded over the past 100 years. All in one year's time. For all four sources, it's the single fastest temperature change ever recorded, either up or down.

Holy Crap! Go back and read that part after the hyphens... So, what that is basically saying is that all the damage done by the evil American industrialists has been corrected in a single calendar year. That's just flat unbelievable. How the hell is that even possible? Well, this is how:

Scientists quoted in a past DailyTech article link the cooling to reduced solar activity which they claim is a much larger driver of climate change than man-made greenhouse gases. The dramatic cooling seen in just 12 months time seems to bear that out. While the data doesn't itself disprove that carbon dioxide is acting to warm the planet, it does demonstrate clearly that more powerful factors are now cooling it.

There are more factors that contribute to global temperature than Carbon Dioxide levels? STFU! You're telling me that Carbon Dioxide, a gas which accounts for less than one half of one percent of the atmosphere doesn't play a major role in managing global temperatures? I cannot understand such revolutionary logic. I need to go home and think about this... I need to re-evaluate my life.

Ok, Ok, I'm finished with the sarcasm, for the most part.

Everyone who knows me, knows that when it comes to most global issues, at the end of the day I couldn't care less... this one is no different. I don't care whether or not the earth is warming up or cooling down. I do care that there have been Nobel Prizes given out to people for supplying highly inaccurate information to the world. The Norwegian Nobel Committee ended their press release for the 2007 Peace Prize by stating:

Action is necessary now, before climate change moves beyond man’s control.

Ummm, has climate change ever been within the control of man? Just a thought.

Another thing... I found this quote, and I thought it was fitting for the occasion:

Some ask how urgent this danger is to America and the world. The danger is already significant, and it only grows worse with time.

No, Al Gore did not say this. This was not taken from an acceptance speech for some prestigious environmentalist award. This is an excerpt from a speech delivered by President George W. Bush outlining the threat of Iraq. So on one side we have a republican urging us to enter an unnecessary war with Iraq, and on the other we have a Democrat taking us to war against the non-existent threat of global warming. Interesting...

"Nader!"... "Power!"

2008-02-25T05:55:00.000-08:00

I thought I would start the week off by infusing a little school spirit into the presidential campaign. Mr. Ralph Nader announced that he will be running for president yet again in 2008. Sweet. I don't know how anyone else feels about this, but I am actually quite happy about this. I always enjoy it when someone decides to throw his hat in the ring just to shake things up.

For More Information visit The Green Party's website.

Compiled Wisdom

2008-02-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

I have rediscovered in the past few days, days filled with unusually long agendas and excessively challenging tasks, the inconceivable power of language. One would have thought that I would have already been fully aware of this since I frequently end up in the dog house for saying things in good fun that the vast majority of the American populace find offensive. Nevertheless, these mini epiphanies come on their own time.

I fell into this realization after a friend sent me an email that contained a few quotes. These quotes were varied in both popularity and topic, but all of them were oddly powerful. This sent me browsing the internet for more, and now that I have located them, I would like to share them... but it's not that easy.

To make this a little more interactive, I am going to place a series of quotes without the name of the person who said them, and I want to see if you can guess who said them (To be fair, I only knew one of them). I am trusting my audience to be honest and not just type the first three words of every quote into google to get an answer... just humor me on this. I think you will be surprised at some of the answers.

1. If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day, he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer. But if he spends his days as a speculator, shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time, he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.

2. You can't say civilization don't advance- For in every war, they kill you in a new way.

3. Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.

4. Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, dirty thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.

5. It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.

6. It is the duty of men to judge men only by their actions. Our faculties furnish us with no means of arriving at the motive, the character, the secret self. We call the tree good from its fruits, and the man, his works.

The thing that attracted me to these quotes is not that they are overly eloquent or extremely "righteous", it's their simplicity. I have sat through many lectures and speeches that were well over an hour long, and nothing that was said made me think. It just shows how little you have to say to actually say something. (oddly enough it took me 500 words to say that)

Anyway, in one of my next posts, I will put the names of the authors. Good Luck.

Stone a Pig

2008-02-19T10:39:00.000-08:00

A few years ago a band by the name of Bongzilla released a track called "Stone a Pig". I never really knew what the song was about... until now.

Recently, two kids working at a Burger King in New Mexico gave two cops burgers that were cooked with marijuana. Apparently, both officers ate the burgers and soon began to feel the effects. The two cooks were both convicted and given probation for their offense. Watch the video here.

The officer interviewed, Henry Gabaldon, seemed very upset after hearing the suspects' sentences. He states, "The message was it's ok to hurt an officer..." Are we seriously going there? I guess we are.

Yes, I think that the two kids involved in this case are complete idiots, and yes, I think that they should be punished for giving someone drugs "without their knowledge" (I'll explain the quotes later), BUT using the word hurt in this case is a ridiculous overstatement. COULD it have hurt the officers? Yes. Did it? Don't think so.

I bet that up until the point that he realized that he had eaten an Al Gore approved "Green Burger", he was having a pretty good time. I would also be willing to bet that the drugs in that burger probably lowered his blood pressure just enough to allow his heart to survive the Whopper and French fries that he had just eaten.

Now, back to the aforementioned quotes: Later in the video the officer states, "There was a lot of pot on that burger."

How would a respectable police officer know that there was "a lot of pot in that burger" unless he is either a. comparing his unexpected high to previous personal endeavors or b. he saw/smelled/tasted the pot on the burger whilst he was consuming it. The sad thing is that, politically, for a cop there is no safe answer here.

By far the best part about this video is the judge himself... just look at him. If that man does not play World of Warcraft I am shocked. He has to at least be a level 70 wizard in something. I wouldn't be surprised if after the first day of the trial, he walked back to his chambers chuckling to himself, remembering his own adolescent fantasies of giving cops a "free ride".

I know that it's stupid/potentially dangerous to give people mild hallucinogens without telling them, and I am not trying to justify it, but I am sure the kids in the story just wanted the cops to feel good... just like the dean of admissions in the movie Orange County or the Superintendent in Detroit Rock City or all the cops in Super Troopers.

After it's all said and done we can just blame the whole thing on Hollywood. =)

Geldof Hearts Bush

2008-02-19T08:48:00.000-08:00

Ok, here we go. It's time for me to drop a slightly overweight bomb of my partial conservativeness all up on your grill. Over the past few days there have been many reports on President Bush's tour through Africa, and they all seem to have the same theme... that Africans really, really like GWB. Now I know that a large number of you just fell out of your seats and have resorted to fanning yourselves and applying a cold compress, but it's true. Those Africans just can't get enough of this rootin' tootin' cowboy of a president. I wonder why that is.

Well, imo, it's one part infatuation with the "Texan" aspects of his personality, i.e. his "work from the gut" attitude and two parts appreciation. Appreciation for the first president in American history to actually give a damn about Africa. He has pumped record numbers of American dollars into pulling the slowly advancing country into the 20th century. He has turned once deadly epidemics into things of the past. He has given their entire continent a fighting chance.

I understand that many people don't agree with the war(s) the WE have started since he became president, but why is it that every day there is something negative reported about this man, but when he does arguably the most important thing of his presidential career (showing that America actually does care about the rest of the world), we have to wait for Bob Geldof to praise the man. I mean, seriously... when people like Bob Geldof are praising our current president and harshly scorning the media for their presentation of him, there is something horribly wrong.

I'm not saying that President Bush is my hero, I'm just saying that there have been worse, and there will be worse... so buckle up. And, while you're (we're) at it let's at least give praise where praise is due.

Whinehouse

2008-02-14T08:01:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, I talk about Amy Winehouse a lot, but I just can't help it. I think she is great, and that's not something that happens everyday. Anyway, today I want to talk about her Grammy experiences earlier this week.

1. U.S. customs officials initially (and for all intents and purposes) denied Amy a visa to come to the U.S. in order to perform at the Grammy's.
(story here)

Really? Is Miss Winehouse really that big of a threat to the United States of America? Can this 24 year old singer really affect our National Security. Her visa was initially denied based on a "series [of] high-profile drug problems." What were those "high-profile" problems? Well, she received a fine for smoking marijuana in Norway last year.... And then there's the internet video of Amy trashed and supposedly smoking crack in her house, (btw, she hasn't been charged for anything in that case). So, a twenty-four year old woman who lives in London smokes a joint in Norway, and because of that she can't enter the U.S. for two days to play a concert.
That makes no sense to me. Not to be cliche, (but merely to be current) Heath Ledger (another foreign born celebrity) just overdosed on a laundry list of drugs, and we're telling someone with a misdemeanor possession charge that they can't come over here? This is retarded in the most demeaning sense of the word.

2. People need to quit sippin' on dat Haterade.

Yesterday I sat down with singer Natalie Cole and discussed her (irrelevant) opinion on Amy Winehouse's Grammy success:

Me: Hello, Miss Cole. It's very nice to meet you.

Cole: The pleasure is all mine, kind sir.

Me: I know it is... I know it is. Anyway, what are your thoughts on Amy Winehouse's spectacular showing at the Grammy's this week.

Cole: "I don't think she should have won. I think it sends a bad message to our young people who are trying to get into this business, the ones who are trying to do it right and really trying to keep themselves together. We have to stop rewarding bad behavior."

Me: Miss Cole, that seems a little harsh to me... Why shouldn't she win? After all, she did receive the most votes. I think your statements might be slightly unfair.

Cole: "I'm sorry. I think the girl's talented, gifted, but it's not right for her to be able to have her cake and eat it too. She needs to get herself together."

Me: I will agree with you that she probably needs to take better care of herself, but do you really think that it's something that the press or even the Grammy voting committee should care about?

Cole: "This isn't something that's cute and fun just to throw around in the press. The girl really has a problem, and I think for those of us who have been in the business long enough, we know the sacrifice it takes. This is about discipline and hard work, and you don't get to just do your drugs and go on stage and get rewarded."

Me: What would you say should be done about the Grammy Awards that you have won... I mean, unlike Amy (the daughter of a taxi driver and a pharmacist), you basically came into the music industry riding the legacy of your father. Then, at the mature and disciplined age of 25 (only one year older than Amy), you released your first album, winning two Grammy's (Best New Artist, Best Female R&B Vocal Performance), and soon after were arrested in Toronto for possession of heroin. In your book, Angel on My Shoulder, you admit to using, in addition to heroin, LSD and crack and that you began using these drugs while you were attending college. Also, you didn't enter rehab for your addictions to heroin, crack and alcohol for more than eight years. So as I asked earlier, what do you think should be done about the Grammy Awards that you have won?

Cole: ...

Me: That's what I thought.

(End of Transcript)

Now as fun as that was, a few things need to be clarified. One, I am not endorsing the use of illegal substances, however I am supporting the use of your brain. Natalie Cole won two Grammy's for her first album release. Six months later, she was arrested for possession of heroin. Why the hell would say that Amy Winehouse doesn't deserve her Grammy's? Because she sucks... because she sucks.

Regardless of her unbelievably hypocritical attack on Amy Winehouse, what about all those artists who did/do "just do [their] drugs and go on stage and get rewarded"?

Where would music be without:
Billie Holiday
Hank Williams
Johnny Cash
Ray Charles
Tommy Bolin (Deep Purple)
Joe Cocker
Led Zeppelin
The Doors
The Jefferson Airplane
Miles Davis
Lightnin' Hopkins
Black Sabbath
Lynard Skynard
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Keith Richards
Jerry Garcia
Kurt Cobain
Bradley Nowell

This list could go on for pages. The point is: Great music is about progression and experimentation, and some one whose career is focused on exploration of the unknown will naturally tend to use "mind expanding substances". It's just part of the personality of the musician.
So in closing, I would like to say that Natalie Cole is ridiculous and should be shunned from every circle of the Hollywood elite that have given her the fame and fortune that she feels only she deserves.

For those of you that care about journalistic integrity and citing sources and all that crap, here is the actual Natalie Cole interview. I still think mine is more fun to read.

Sunday Evening News

2008-02-10T17:20:00.000-08:00

Current mood: Still

Current Song: "Broken Drum" by Beck

I am happy to report that my plan of priority realignment is off to a good start. After blogging all my worries away, I completed my taxes (for the most part) on Saturday evening with the help of my father, and even better, with his help I will be getting much more back on my return than I would have if I had just run through them like I normally do.

Rob and I went shopping today. I bought enough fruits and vegetables to supply a rabbit farm. I managed to make it all the way through the store without buying anything that's "bad" for me. Some would argue that the soups I bought have too much salt, but I'll just make sure that I eat a spoonful of sugar to offset the negative effects. =)

Now to further expound on my new life strategy:

One of my new goals for myself, it is in fact numer one on the list, is that I have decided that unless I am playing a gig I will not be stepping foot into a bar until after spring break. Reasons for this are vast and varied:

1. Money- I looked at my bank statement the other day and noticed that I had spent more money in bars in the past month than anywhere else (including food), and I think that everyone can agree that that is no good.

2. Energy- I have been uncharacteristically tired lately, and that can be contributed to a continually deteriorating diet and my habbit of not getting home until 11pm (amost) every night. I figure that if I take my typical bar time and use it reading or playing music or just doing something I will be better off.

3. Health- I have gotten sick more this semester (remember it's only February) than I have in the past two years, and I am tired of it. I am getting too old to maintain my "rock and roll lifestyle" while at the same time working 8-5.

So from this day forth (at least until March somethingth) your humble narrator will be trying to maintain a much more domestic lifestyle. Who knows, I may learn how to cross stitch or knit or something really gay like that... Or I may just turn into a total hermit who is more or less allergic to sunlight. To be completely honest, I think that I will end up somewhere in the middle of those two, but hey, a boy can dream. See you tomorrow.

Who Needs Dr. Phil? I Can Epiphanize On My Own.

2008-02-09T14:24:00.000-08:00

This has been at once the most useless and productive weekend in recent memory. On the one hand, I missed two days of work (Thursday and Friday); on the other hand, I realized where I am at in my life and where I need to go. I came across my future in a not-so-pleasant realization, and I think that the encounter has given me new direction.

Since graduating from college, I have been drifting in a sort of "life goal purgatory", i.e. before I am able to move forward in my life, I am having to take stock of and answer for what I have already done. I am proud of the things that I have done... at least up until the past few months. Since finishing school, I have continued toward an attitude of complacency and nonchalance regarding my resposibilities, and I am not at all happy about it. Like everyone else that I know, I want to be successful (who doesn't?), but I don't know what I want to be successful at/in, and that causes problems for me. Since I cannot decide, I am forced to exist between my two goals, sacrificing quality on both ends so that I can enjoy the benefits of both and maintain my fence-straddling ways until I abandon them both for greener pastures.

It's a terrible place to be in: sitting at the crossroads with absolutely no sign of which way to go, but sometimes I have to think that's half the fun of growing up... and, No, I don't think that I am grown up. I am far from it. And it's weekends like this that prove it. I have spent all morning mentally scorning myself while remaining horizontal in observance of the television. I know exactly what needs to be done (laundry, dishes and other general domestic duties) but it's not going to happen, at least not right now... Why? because I can get on the computer and vent about my irresposibility much easier than I can fix it, and that, my friends, takes great (misguided) skill.

(30 minutes later)

However, with every thorn, there is a rose... wait, I am pretty sure that little metaphor is completely backwards, but it serves my cause, so I am using it. I have sat down and made two lists. One is of my goals in the near future, and the other one is ways to accomplish those goals. I may share these lists at a later date, but not today (for reasons of self preservation).

For the sake of making this entry something more than a vague rant of indiscernable personal turmoil, I will give you two items on the latter of the two lists.

3. Go to Bed Earlier. (pretty self-explanatory)

and

5. Enjoy new music that is not metal.

Some will cry; some will cheer; some have no idea how the second entry will affect anything. It's simple, I have been a lover of metal music since early middle school. So much so that when I get a new (good) metal cd, I have a very hard time listening to anything else for a few weeks, and that's lame. There is so much music out there that I have been ignoring because I have not "been in the mood" for it... Well, it's time to get in the mood. So here's to exploration.

If all goes well, in the very near future, your self-disappointed author will be in much better condition to actually and thoroughly enjoy the amazing life he has been given. Mahalo, and stay tuned for updates.

PANCAKE DAY!!

2008-02-05T06:21:00.000-08:00

Well, it's Tuesday, and we all know what that means... Mardi Gras! Woot!!! The day to sin as much as you can before it really starts to count. I'm just kidding... well not really. Anyway, even if I was looking for an evening of debauchery, I will not be able to find it. You see, I have to work tonight... all night, so instead of basking in the pleasures brought upon by age-old religious loopholes, I will merely be providing the music for everyone else to "debauch" to. I think it's a relatively fair trade.

There hasn't been much going on around here except for the band. I have been so rushed and overbooked that I am just ready to take a week-long nap. It has been nice getting the supplemental income, though. The news is slow. Work is boring. This post is pointless. I only started it to keep me from falling asleep at my desk. I am going to get a soda... have a good day.

By the way, Bobby Knight quit last night, and our chancelor quit the day before... There will be a blog on Knight later this week.

Yes. I mean , No. I mean... I'm hungry

2008-01-31T12:39:00.000-08:00

Obama is apparently having problems remembering his policies... The Washington Times

Oil, Oil, Toil and Trouble

2008-01-31T11:33:00.000-08:00

While scanning through my blog, I sometimes get annoyed by the fact that 85% of everything on here is a rant or complaint or criticism of something, and I kinda have a problem with that. However, when you are sitting at your desk and you come across this, how can you not be angry?

I am no economist, but things like this make no sense to me. How can a company justify raising prices by such large percentages, while still raking in huge profits?

Seriously, I want someone to explain this to me. I have thought about this a lot, and I just can't make it work... here is what I have so far:

Cost of production has increased, production levels have decreased, profits are higher than ever.

WTF?

In the article Shell defends itself by stating that this year (f.y. 2007) they invested $24 billion in research for new forms of energy. OK? Now how (brown cow) does that make anything better? That tells me that on top of the $27.5 billion that they posted as profit, there was another $25 billion lying around ready to be reinvested into the company. It really puts my heart at ease to know that Shell is clearing well over $50 billion a year. That's great.

I will say that at times like this, I am very happy to not own a vehicle, because if I did I might actually be angered by a revelation of this magnitude, but since I don't I am just really really confused.

So, on your daily drive home from work or play, turn down the radio and listen very closely... sometimes, when the wind blows just right, you can actually hear the quarters falling out of your tailpipe.

P.S. It snowed this morning.

Why I Want To Live in Europe #37

2008-01-29T08:10:00.001-08:00

The Government Leaves You Alone.

Dethklok

2008-01-25T12:09:00.000-08:00

Skwisgaar Skwigelf taller than a tree,

Toki Wartooth not a bumblebee,

William Murderface

Murderface

Murderface,

Pickles the Drummer doodily doo ding dong doodily doodily doo,

Nathan Explosion.

The Evil Dead

2008-01-25T06:09:00.000-08:00

After posting yesterday, I wandered through past conversations that I have had with Taylor and others about the idea that Rock and Roll is dead. I typically want to say that it's not simply because I love Rock & Roll, so put another dime in the jukebox, Baby. I don't want to believe that Rock and Roll is dead, but after many hours of conversing plus many more contemplating, I think I have found the answer:

It's Dead. But not in the way or for the reason(s) that were discussed yesterday.

When Rock and Roll started with Chuck Berry, it was "negro music". It was controversial; it was rebellious; it was raw. It was something that parents feared their kids would discover, ending any chance of happiness and morality that they ever possessed. That is what made it so appealing to the youth. It was new, loud music that came "straight from the Devil", but somehow still sounded so sweet. Just like the other vices that have since the dawn of time tempted the youth of the world, Rock and Roll is (was) so great because of its "off-limitness".

Twenty years into the mix, the feeling was still the same, but the music changed a little. The Beatles showed the world how to use distortion; The Doors showed us that an organ can rock just as hard as a guitar, and Jimi Hendrix showed us something... we still don't know exactly what, but he definitely showed us something. Rock stars lived impossibly indulgent lives, only further fueling their idol status with adolescents... and then it hit the fan. Morrison, Hendrix, Joplin- died. All "Ledger" young and "Britney" famous, but still dead. It's at this point that many people say that it (R&R) ended. That's wrong. Rock and Roll lived on much longer than that, I think much longer than most people would guess.
I think personally, now I don't know how popular an opinion this is, but I think personally that Rock and Roll survived all the way into the late nineties. Why do I say that? Because no matter what the sound was , what the hair looked like, or what the songs were about Rock has always been the "rebel music", and I think that is the most defining characteristic of Rock of Roll. I am being very generous with my definition of Rock and Roll here. In my definition, I am including all off-chutes (punk, metal, hardcore...) because in my opinion, Rock and Roll is more than a music genre. It's an idea, a mindset, a concept. It's a declaration of individuality in the most western, capitalistic way possible.

As I stated earlier (multiple times), Rock has always been "bad". From Chuck Berry to Alice Cooper to Led Zeppelin to Black Sabbath to Motorhead to KISS to Metallica to Pantera to Marilyn Manson, there has always been this "evil" element associated with Rock, and since it was evil, pastors talked about it, and because pastors talked about EVERYONE knew about it. But after Marilyn Manson's release Mechanical Animals the "evilness" of rock was gone. There is no more shock. Pantera is dead and gone, Metallica is sober, and Marilyn Manson wears pink sunglasses and plays concerts for 13 year old girls. The power and the fear of rock is gone.

Of course there are still bands out there that pump out raw, in your face "Satan music", but I really don't think that very many parents are talking to their spouses before bed saying, "I'm worried about Billy. I found a Sunn0))) album under his mattress this morning. I think we need to have a talk with him." The sad thing is, I don't even blame the musicians or the labels for the death of Rock and Roll. I blame us... not us as in the fans, but us as in our culture. Our daily lives have become so saturated with panic and fear that we cannot be shocked. And that, my friends, is what killed Rock and Roll.

AT&T, Censoship, Gene Simmons?

2008-01-24T07:03:00.001-08:00

Answer: All things that I hate.

AT&T is debating whether or not to begin "watching" their internet lines to prevent the distribution of copyrighted material. Being the music downloading and file sharing person that I am, I have a huge problem with any ISP hindering my ability to break online copyright law.

Randall Stephenson, CEO of AT&T, stated that his company's position is akin to, "... being in a store and watching someone steal a DVD. Do you act?" Well sure, but it's not like there's one person stealing one DVD, there's 50 million million people stealing 500 million DVD's.

Additionally, if you do see someone shoplifting, you don't walk up to the person and take the DVD out of their hand... you go to the front of the store and you inform security. Guess what? The government already knows about it, and they can't do anything about it, at least not right now. All previous efforts by the government to stop file sharing have made the War on Drugs look like a Cinderella story of accomplishment.

The other day, I saw an episode of the Henry Rollins Show (great show) where he interviewed Gene Simmons. In that interview Gene Simmons stated that Rock and Roll is dead because the fans killed it with sites like Napster and Kazaa. He stated that the government should have found the kids that started the sites and immediately wiped them off the planet.

There are not many things that I take a hard stance on, but this is one of them. The government should not have shut down Napster or Kazaa or any other p2p site on the internet for one simple reason:

The site's existence is not illegal. There is nothing illegal or wrong with setting up a file sharing network over the internet. It is merely the content being exchanged that is the issue. If you are not going to hold the ISP's responsible for providing the substantial bandwidth necessary for such crimes, you can't hold the websites responsible for providing the interface.

Also, Gene's point about Rock being dead... not true, well kinda true. His idea of rock... "Hey guy, lets write one song, get famous, and then write 50 more songs that nobody will remember because they all sound the same..." that idea of rock is most certainly dead, and for good reason.

People praise Gene Simmons all the time (and from every angle). Whether it's Scott Ian or Donald Trump, they all worship this man. I understand that he is a very successful recording artist and businessman, but has everyone forgotten that he is the heretic that paved the way for the musical blasphemy known as "glam-rock", not to mention its diabolical cousin, "hair metal". We need some accountability here, people.

In the interview, he stated that the entire record industry is about to crumble because no one is buying albums. My response to that is, "So, what?" On average, when a band releases an album and sells it for $15.99, they get paid an average of $1.60 off of every record sold (income, not profit), while the record label makes $1.70 (profit not income) *source*. Sounds like a raw deal to me. I say let the record companies die, I can definitely do without acts such as Soulja Boy, Tell Em and NSYNC. There is no place in my life for them.

The sad part is that his argument doesn't hold water. Radiohead releases their newest album, In Rainbows, in mid October of 2007 and made it available exclusively by internet download from their website. Fans were allowed to choose how much they wanted to pay for it. According to this article roughly 40% of the people who downloaded the album chose to pay for it. Now, they released their album in stores three months later early (January), and STILL grabbed the number 1 spot on the charts.

So if anything, downloading music does not harm the artists that produce music, it merely harms the record labels putting out music that's not worth buying in the first place.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love music... as if there was any doubt, but there are other ways to support the music that you want to hear beside paying $16 for a cd:

1. Go to shows- First of all, the best music experiences are always live ones. Instead of just buying records, spend some of that money on concerts... $10 for one album (50-60 minutes of fun), or $10 to see four bands play live and spend the evening with your friends(5-7 hours of fun and lasting memories)? Secondly, the band that I am in hasn't even released an album, and I could feasibly live off the money we make strictly from playing gigs (I couldn't live as comfortably, but I would survive).

2. Buy Merch(andise) - Most bands have a merch table at their shows. If you want to support bands, especially independent bands, buy a t-shirt or a sticker or a pin, maybe a tank of gas, just buy something. Whatever you get, the band will see more of that money than they would if you bought a CD (unless the band makes their own records).

The lessons for today are as follows:

1. AT&T needs to mind their own business.

2. The Henry Rollins Show is awesome.

3. Radiohead are geniuses.

4. Gene Simmons is lame.

I don't know how this post went from censorship to a Gene Simmons hate-fest, but that's the way of the blog.

Hold on...

2008-01-23T05:40:00.000-08:00

I may have spoken too soon. As of this exact moment, the trip is still on. Cody's parents have decided not to force him to walk at graduation. =) sorry bout that.

The Loneliest Road I've Ever Walked

2008-01-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

Though I have not confirmed every facet of this next post, I am fairly confident as to the truthfulness of what you are about to read.

I reached a rather significant realization this morning (afternoon), and I am not quite sure how I feel about it. Based on the information that I have received in the last few days, it seems that I will be travelling to Europe by myself.

You see, my friend that was planning on going with me to Europe is the most carefree person that I have ever met in my life. He makes me look like a neurotic that spends every waking hour counting the cracks in the sidewalk attempting to unlock the secrets of armageddon. But, because of this blessing of stress-less existence, he has a tendency to ignore certain resposibilities. I can only guess that this stems from the fact that he has never had a problem getting things taken care of... until now.

My buddy was supposed to be graduating in May, which would give both of us a few weeks to see family before we departed for the motherland. Well, he put off signing up for a class that he needed in order to graduate, and therefore, will not be able to take the class until June. When I first heard of this setback, I was willing to accept it. I mean I would only have to wait an extra month. I could deal. BUT, as far as I know, Tech only holds graduation ceremonies three times a year: May, December and August, and knowing his family, he will not be afforded the convenience of skipping his graduation ceremony, which means that he will not be available for international travel until mid August, and I can't wait that long.

So, I will probably be venturing across the seas alone.

Naturally, when I first realized this, I was a bit overwhelmed. It's a lot easier to brush off all of the "you're crazy" comments when you have some one standing behind you telling you that you're not. Well, my voice of solace is gone, and I am now facing the wildly unknown face of Europe all by my lonesome, and after a bit of contemplation, I am actually quite excited. I am obviously not going to be starting in Budapest anymore. Even I know that walking alone for 6 months is a bit much, so I am probably going to cut the trip in half and start either in The Netherlands or in Germany (which was something that Cody and I had been discussing anyway).

So life has thrown me another curveball, and it's up to me to hit another homerun. Until tomorrow... Cheers!

Do Not Sue Me, Gypsy!

2008-01-20T12:14:00.000-08:00

The American court system acheived great heights on Friday. The Alabama Supreme Court decided that etiquette techer Kathie Martin could not sue "Borat" (Sacha Cohen) or any of the production companies associated with the movie. They made this ruling bacause she apparently signed a contract before appearing in the movie stating that she could only file suit against him in the State of New York.

I think that this is a great outcome to this case. As soon as I heard that Sacha was being sued by multiple people in the movie, I was worried because I seriously thought that he was going to be burned alive. Having seen "Borat" multiple times, I am surprised even to this day that the movie was ever even released, much less made a substantial amount of money.

To be honest, the first time I watched the movie, I didn't think that it was very funny... wait, let me clarify that. I thought that the character Borat was extremely funny and well played, but that feeling was entirely overshadowd by the intense shame and disgust that I felt for the people that Borat encounters in the film. Case and point... The frat daddies on the the motor home: (This clip contains very foul language and adult content)

These guys were also suing Sacha Cohen... Luckily, their case was dismissed last year.

The full title of the film was, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan", but a more accurate name, in my opinion, would be "Borat: Antiquated Ignorance and Hate Fuel the American South." I was more than appalled at what I saw in the film, and I know that I am not the only one.

Even the people in the movie were appalled by their own actions, proved by their filing suit against Sacha. They have sued him for the way they were "portrayed" in the movie. And by "portrayed" they mean that these people were highly irresponsible and/or ignorant and they allowed themselves to be caught on tape and shown to millions of people throughout the entire country. They have no right to blame anyone for how they appear. These people got everything that they deserved. If you don't want to be portrayed as a racist or a bigot or an anti-semitic, women hating alcoholic, don't let someone film you as you become the embodiment of those things.

I give Borat a huge "High Five!" in the hopes that if more people like him come out, maybe America won't be so full of the swine that he has so masterfully depicted.

I Was Way Off

2008-01-16T09:35:00.000-08:00

In a recent post, I talked about the UK's proposal to tag prisoners and ex-cons. In that post I said that if we weren't careful, late in my life they would be trying to tag me too. Well I was wrong. This isn't going to happen in 50 years, it's going to happen now. Read this, and when you're done crying, we'll get back to talking.

I have a feeling that people will have a problem with this idea... at least all of the people who are not in charge of office efficiency. I do not want my computer to be consoling me after a bad breakup or offering me Alka-Seltzer while overcoming party pains. Furthermore, I don't want my computer snitching to my boss about it.

For people to use computers successfully and productively, they have to trust them. I am never going to load up my entire music library or open anything important on a machine that I don't trust... especially a machine that told my boss that I was still drunk from that lunch break margarita (not that I ever drink margaritas on my lunch break).

The other issue that I see arising out of this is the fact that the computer will know your weight. I doubt very seriously that there are more than a handful of women out there that want their bosses to know how much they weigh, or if they are gaining weight.

I do think it was funny that it measures respiration rate... What happens if you hold your breath? I wonder how long it takes the computer to send out a "Heimlich Alert".

Why is this necessary? Do data entry clerks really need to have their gaseous emissions monitored? I don't think so. But, Big Brother's gotta do what Big Brother's gotta do.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Today seems like a day to watch a sad movie. I would recommend "The Life of David Gale".

Milk, It Does a Body Good

2008-01-15T11:13:00.000-08:00

I found this story today... I really wish that I had more teachers like this.

Milk Chug

Oh, How We Have Lost Our Culture

2008-01-14T13:56:00.000-08:00

And by our culture, I mean 1970's British humor. The AP reported today that Clay Aiken (American Idol contestant) will be playing the lead roll in the Broadway production of "Monty Python's Spamalot". Sounds ok to me, right? Wrong. Clay Aiken stated that up until three months ago he thought that Monty Python was a single person, and that the first time he saw "...The Holy Grail" he thought it was the, "...stupidest thing I'd ever seen in my entire life."

Clay Aiken is twenty-nine years old. TWENTY-NINE!!!! And until November of last year he didn't even know what Monty Python was? Ok, maybe he was born in a place where they didn't have Monty Python, like maybe East Berlin? or Cuba? How about North Korea? Nope, Raleigh, North Carolina. This is a travesty beyond any I have witnessed.

In researching for this post, and I use the term "research" about as loosely as politicians use "bipartisan", I uncovered some more interesting facts about Mr. Aiken.

His real name is Clayton Holmes Grissom.

He is an ambassador for UNICEF.

He "was appointed by George W. Bush to a committee that acts in an advisory capacity to the President and the Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services on matters relating to programs and services for persons with intellectual disabilities."
Trivia taken from wikipedia.org

How does an apparently still pre-pubescent 29 year old manage to become an ambassador for UNICEF and an advisor to the President simply by squeaking out a few sappy songs that made only the loneliest of middle-aged cat owners feel anything but contempt for American pop music?

Seriously, go back to the top of the post and look at that picture and then decide if that guy should be advising anyone about anything (except maybe why not to buy turtle-knecks). I am starting to think that this guy is a witch (warlock), but fear not. Judging by his knowledge of Monty Python, he will have no idea what's coming when they put him on a scale with a duck.

Lunch Break

2008-01-14T08:46:00.000-08:00

Organ Transplants may no longer be up to you... that is if you live in the UK and do not explicitly state that you want to keep your organs.

For the most part, I think this is a good idea. I wouldn't doubt that there are many people who die unexpectedly every year who have never given organ donation a single thought, so it would make sense to take advantage of those extra organs that go "wasted" into the afterlife. This is the only part I have a problem with:

"The Government will launch an overhaul of the system next week, which will put pressure on doctors and nurses to identify more 'potential organ donors' from dying patients. Hospitals will be rated for the number of deceased patients they 'convert' into donors and doctors will be expected to identify potential donors earlier and alert donor co-ordinators as patients approach death."

I don't really agree that hospitals should be ranked by their ability to convince people that they don't need their organs. This isn't a political issue; it's a personal one. If I want to keep my heart/liver/ kidney(s)/ eyes, that should be up to me. There should be a simple yes or no question with no attempts at persuasion.

It also seems a bit unsettling that donor coordinators will notified when patients are close to dying. I think it would be quite unsettling if I was in and out of consciousness and overheard doctors and coordinators discussing which parts of me will go where and into whom. I am pretty sure that I don't want my final memory to be, "Yeah, I think we can get his liver on the red-eye to L.A."

However, we may not need to deal with this much longer. Scientists at the University of Minnesota have successfully built a beating (mouse) heart. I'm not talking about one of those Jarvik-7 things... no no no. I mean an actual heart made of flesh and blood. Pretty Freakin Cool.

In other news today, Jesus is a Muslim and Prisoners get Lo-Jacked

As far as the article about the Jesus film goes, I would actually be very interested in seeing it. It would be cool to exactly what an extremist Muslim government's take on him is. I did find it interesting that even in Iran the movie opened to lackluster sales and is already being turned into a made-for-TV movie. They may respect Jesus, as they claim, but they sure don't like watching him on the big screen.

Now for prisoners... I say chip them all up. I want to know where every single felon is at any given moment. I do see two potential problems with this technology being implemented.

1. Here in Lubbock, we have what we like to call the "Sex Offender Channel". The channel switches in between broadcasting educational shows for children and Powerpoint slides of all registered sex offenders in the entire city. Each sex offender gets his/her own Powerpoint slide including their name, age, size (height-weight), their picture, their address, and what they were charged for. (One sad part about it is that many of these crimes took place 20 to 30 years ago.) As odd as it may sound, sometimes that channel is by far the most entertaining thing on TV.

Anyway... If this "lo jack" technology got into Lubbock, I can guarantee that they would plant a chip in every single one of them (which I have no problem with) and provide the citizens of Lubbock with access to a GPS map system showing all of their locations at any given time (which I do have a problem with).

I understand that people with children want to know if sex offenders live near them and and their children, but that's why they have a list at the police station... so that concerned individuals can be equipped with information to protect their kids.

I am not a kid, nor do I have kids. I don't want to be in the grocery store and remember from last night's channel surfing that the guy bagging my groceries liked to touch little boys in 1973. That has nothing to do with bagging my groceries. If he can manage not to squish my bread and break my eggs, then I am cool with him.

2. My ceaselessly paranoid mind always jumps to the superlative example of any situation that I am pondering: First, they will put a chip in every single murderer on the planet, and then in twenty years extend that to all felons, ten years later: include misdemeanors, and five years later: everyone on the whole damn planet will be tagged. By then I will be 55 and on so many government mandated drugs that I will gladly accept my tag before I lie down and fall into infinite slumber where they will use my brain waves to help power the WSC Worldwide Supercomputer. Now it may not happen exactly like that, but it will be close.

I just think we need to be careful before we start treating prisoners like different a species, because when you think about it, what really separates the murderer from the judge? The murderer kills the masses, and the judge kills for the masses, and I will guarantee that not a single judge in this country, or any other for that matter, would ever allow the government to place a tracking chip in his/her arm. That's all.

Singing Road

2008-01-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

As you can tell, I have spent much of the morning on Reuters web site looking at their videos. Among the many uninteresting ones available for viewing, I found this little gem.

I can distinctly remember having a conversation with my grandfather about this very concept a few years ago on the way home from Lubbock just outside of Houston on 290, AND on my last journey to Houston, Taylor and I discussed the topic in great detail. I guess I should have done something about it sooner. =(

Bernie And Bombs

2008-01-10T10:05:00.000-08:00

These are hilarious.

Paulitics

2008-01-10T07:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, while enjoying a beautiful #12 deeply bathed in cucumber and avocado from Jimmy John's, Taylor informed me about this article, entitled "Angry White Man" (hence the photo). Read it. It's good... and by good I mean bad, and by bad I mean ignorant.

I am tired of people criticizing Ron Paul (amongst many others) for their politically incorrect yet true comments about ethnic/minority groups. I don't agree with everything that Ron Paul has said, but that's inevitable.

If we were able to read every thought that flew through an(y) individual's head, we would all be disgusted at the level of depravity that saturates even a "good" person's thoughts. So everyone just needs to get over it... Say what you feel, and don't hold back. Constructive conversations have never been built on censorship and political correctness.

Back to the topic at hand... After reading the article, I was swiftly on my way to spending the entire day writing a line-for-line rebuttal to this piece. But, before I started I found that someone has already written a shorter yet sufficient rebuttal for me, found here, and oddly enough it was written by a homosexual, or at least a man associated with a homosexual organization.

So enjoy todays readings, look at the sky, plant a tree, and don't forget to wash your hands.

Um, Mr. Rhodes, Can I Have a Hall Pass? I'm Feeling Kinda Pregnant.

2008-01-08T11:21:00.000-08:00

First, Read this.

Now, if you have not already repeatedly punched yourself in the face while simultaneously leaping off of the nearest high rise to rid your mind of the world's unrelenting insanity, then we need to talk.

At this very moment my mind is being accosted by a deluge of incomputable concepts, and I have no idea how to stop them. I will do my best to present this onslaught to human reason in an organized manner.

First of all, I do feel that I need to preface this post with something, and that is that I did not attend public school until I went to college, so I was not routinely around pregnant girls in high school. But, I don't think that my opinion on the matter is any less relevant as a result.

#1

"Two counselors from East High School approached the school board last month, saying the policy at their school is unfair and inconsiderate because it forces new moms to return to school the day after being discharged from the hospital or face being charged with unexcused absences."

Inconsiderate? Since when has public policy been a matter of manners? The policy of forcing new mothers to return to school the day after being discharged is not unfair or inconsiderate. In fact, it is the fairest approach that can be taken in this situation. If a kid gets thrown in jail for 28 days, I am pretty sure that they will not get the entire month's worth of absences excused... and why not? Because the absences resulted from a situation that the student was able to avoid and irresponsibly decided not to do so. Do these girls choose to get pregnant? Probably not. Do kids choose to go to jail? Doubtful, but both groups chose to partake in activities that led to them missing school, and should therefore be treated equally.
These girls (and their male accomplices) have made an irresponsible decision. Allowing these mothers free time off from school after they have been given a "clean bill of health" would be a slap in the face to every other student in the school that decided to take care of their responsibilities.

#2

"'After you have the baby, your body needs time to heal,' the 18-year-old said.

That is true, said Dr. Sarah Grope, pediatrician at HealthOne's Rocky Mountain Hospital for Children in Denver.

'To just assume that two days after having a baby they can go back to school is ridiculous at best,'" Grope said. 'During that time, they should be able to do their schoolwork and give time to bond with their children.'"

While I will agree with the fact that a woman's body needs to heal after giving birth, I will not agree that it is the school district's job to provide that time free of penalty. When women become pregnant and are full time employees somewhere, they are entitled to maternity leave. Why? Because the employer is fully capable of finding some one else to do their job. While in school, you cannot find another student to do the absent one's job, because the student's only job is to learn, and that can't be accomplished (according to school policy) unless that specific student is in the classroom. If a new mother feels that she is not physically able to return to school she should get a doctor's note stating that she is unable to attend, otherwise... So Sorry ^-^

#3

"The district has a school for pregnant teens and new moms, Florence Crittenton School, but it has a waiting list."

WTF!?!?!?! No way.

While I do think that it is admirable that there are people out there that see needs like this and are willing to address them, I am just completely amazed that the need for a "Pregnants Only" school in ONE city is so big that their is a freaking waiting list to get in. And seriously, how much sense does it make to have a waiting list in the first place? Are girls planning on getting pregnant? Because last time I checked, women are pregnant for nine months, and the normal high school year lasts about ten months...

And do they base it on a first come first served basis? or is it on a "how pregnant are you really" basis... I mean, is there a 6'5" dude covered with tattoos at the front door manning a velvet rope with a ruler measuring "belly breadth" while all the classroom doors are accompanied by a sign depicting a clown with a beach ball under his shirt saying, "You must be 'this' pregnant to learn"?

Now I understand that the school is for pregnant girls and new moms, but sometimes I just have to write things that make me laugh, because otherwise I would cry.

#4

"Kayla Lewis, who is five months pregnant and a Senior at East..."

I don't even know what this girl is complaining about... This article was last updated on January 7, 2008. Assuming that the article is accurate, Kayla will only have three weeks left in high school when she has the baby. In fact, she will be having her baby right before she has to take her fi... Oh, I see now. Maybe this girl is smarter than I thought after all.

In Closing:
I just want to make one final point, scratch that, two.

First, if you want a month off of school, join the club. I sure as hell wish I could take a penalty-free month off from work, but I don't see that happening any time soon.

Second, this entire issue is being raised on the basis of equality, i.e. "It's unfair"; "It's just not right", etc. However, nowhere in this article does it mention anything about giving the (hopefully) proud new fathers a free month's worth of absences so that they too can bond with their newborn child. Just something to consider.

Wowzers

2008-01-08T06:54:00.000-08:00

Panasonic's new record setting plasma TV.

With the most advanced technology and billions of dollars at your disposal, why choose to put two scaly naked, not to mention extremely fat, men on the life sized screen?

A World Away

2008-01-07T12:59:00.000-08:00

The air soft as that of Seville in April, and so fragrant that it was delicious to breathe it.

-Christopher Columbus

A blanket lay occupied
in the grass Pets run through
games with their masters with their mates
hand in hand Foreigners embrace
faces washed gold
in the low-burning sun
The chosen vine slowly heals
the pain The last kind words
delivered full of hope
for some time
unseen A wet sleeve holds her ticket
in tears Her loving smile greets its mate
with joy The act is returned
when their soul’s discovered In that place
what they were has died

"...Well I Have Sterilized Monkeys"

2008-01-07T11:37:00.001-08:00

The northern Indian state of Himachal Pradesh stated that it will start training unemployed youths to sterilize monkeys, which have begun to cause economic problems for the area's farmers.

This makes me really glad that I don't live in India. I know they are providing a necessary service, but come on... sterilizing monkeys? Maybe a better decision would have been to sterilize The Monkees. Who knows.
At the very least, when these kids go to get their first real jobs, they will have an answer for the question, "What relevant career experience do you have?"

Britney Spears McGraw

2008-01-07T06:28:00.000-08:00

I have tried so so hard to stay away from the whirlpool that is Britney Spears' downward spiral into infamy, but finally I have rubber-knecked for too long and my rowboat of thought has been sucked into the mayhem. My only hope is to rant my way out...

Ms. Spears,

1. I was ok with the whole two marriages in one year thing... You live in Hollywood.

2. I was ok with you having two babies with a man who had a child with another woman less than six months before you were engaged... You were born in Mississippi and raised in Louisiana, it happens.

3. I was ok with you staying out all night getting wasted at the clubs... You're young, and you're richer than I can even imagine being. If I had the same money and fame that you do, I probably would have died a long time ago.

4. Shaving your head... No worries, you still looked pretty hot.

5. Checking into rehab... I know you are feeling down about going into rehab, but look at all of your friends that were/are there too!

Robin Williams, Robert Downey Jr., Darryl Strawberry, Jerry Garcia, Samuel L. Jackson, Leonard Nimoy, Kelly Osbourne, James Brown, Chevy Chase, Robert Blake, Eddie Van Halen, Billy Holiday, Grace Slick, Iggy Pop, Haley Joel Osment, Anna Nicole Smith, Hank Williams III, Mackenzie Phillips, Dick Cheney, Mel Gibson, Michael Douglas, Matthew Perry, Charlie Sheen, Kate Moss, Ray Charles, Johnny DeppMary Tyler Moore, Richard Dreyfuss, Philip Seymour Hoffman, John Daly, Ted Turner, Wynonna Judd, Carrie Fisher, Nell Carter, Billy Bob Thornton, Chris Webber, Onterrio Smith, Tom Sizemore, Drew Barrymore, Dick Van Dyke, Larry Hagman, James Galdolfini, Pete Doherty, Kiefer Sutherland, Elizabeth Taylor, Colin Farrell, Etta James, Rick James, Buzz Aldrin, Jason Priestley, Prince Harry, Tom Arnold, Dionne Warwick, Ken Caminiti, Jennifer Capriati, Tonya Harding, Truman Capote, Liza Minnelli, Martin Lawrence, Melanie Griffith, Lindsay Lohan, Shelley Winters, Eddie Money, Jessica Hahn, Christian Slater, Alice Cooper, Winona Ryder, Demi Moore, Nicole Richie, David Bowie, O.J. Simpson, Jim Brown, Mike Tyson, Stacy Ann Ferguson "Fergie", Oliver Stone, Jessica Sierra, Chyna, Representative Mark Foley, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Richard Lewis, Rodney King, Jean-Claude Van Damme

6.Holding your kids hostage... ok, I think we are crossing a line here.

7. Asking Dr. Phil for help... Wait, Dear. Now hold on a second. We have a problem. There are probably 50,000 licensed psychologists in the United States, and you pick the only one that has his own television show? Does your publicist have his/her own TV show? no. Do ANY of your lawyers? Do your money managers? I didn't think so. So you won't trust your career, your rights or your money to a TV show host, but you have decided to trust your mental wellbeing to one? Really?

(*Pause... Deep Breath... Short Prayer for Serenity)

I have for many months defended Britney on the basis of her environment. I would argue that anyone her age who has 25 strangers constantly following them and taking their picture from helicopters and trying to snag photos of their children is going to go a little crazy. And honestly, I still stand by that, BUT when you have a legitimate opportunity to help yourself (i.e. are taken to the hospital against your will) and you call on this guy? I have lost faith in you.

"Sign number 11 that your family is nuts... They let you call me for therapy." (hilarity ensues)

So, Britney, I have some bad news... we're through. I will no longer put on my headphones in the middle of the night and listen to "Toxic" while dreaming of the life we could've had, I won't. Not anymore. Goodbye.

Late Night Part Deux

2008-01-06T12:36:00.000-08:00

CONAN HAS ONE TOO!!!!!!!

Who would've thought that facial hair would save TV as we know it

Late Night News

2008-01-04T12:20:00.000-08:00

Shortly after the majority of America recovered from their end-of-year hangover, late night TV hosts returned to the airwaves amidst the ongoing Writer's Guild strike. Leno has opted to return to the airwaves sans writers, writing and performing all of the material by himself... an impressive move that has gotten him into some hot water with the Guild. According to a recent AP article, The Guild is claiming that Leno (as a member) is violating the rules of the strike by continuing to write and deliver material while the strike continues. Leno claims that he has done nothing wrong and will continue to do the show. On the other hand, Letterman has also returned, but has reached a short term deal with Worldwide Pants to bring his writers back to the show.

I really think that it is immature for the Guild to be upset with Leno for returning to the air. If he can do the show by himself, let him do it. Hell, it might even prove that he's better off without them.
I will never understand the whole union mentality of, "Well I'm not happy with my salary/benefits/hours/et cetera, therefore I am going to refuse to work, so you should too". Why? I would assume that Leno enjoys his job, and there is absolutely no way he is wanting for anything. Let the man do his job. But, but, but what about being loyal to his fellow writers? ...Well, I think that ship sailed when they all walked out on the show. Like I have said in the past, I understand why unions were needed back in the day, when people were getting paid dirt for extreme manual labor, but seriously now, these people get paid to sit at a table and write (typically poor) jokes all day. They really need to quit taking themselves so seriously and get back to work, or just quit griping about the fact that their boss is willing to do their job (as well as his) to keep his company rolling.

Now, on the lighter side of the late night news: Letterman has returned to his show sporting a pretty awesome beard. I have never been prouder to be an American (*single tear). Finally, after 50 years of domination of the American airwaves by clean shaven penguins, a beard has been spotted, and goodness gracious it looks nice. I must say, I think I respect him now more than ever strictly because of his ability to grow a respectable amount of facial hair.
Upon seeing this image some of you will laugh, some will scoff, some of you may even cry a little, but whatever you do... do not underestimate the power of the Beard, especially Dave's. In an informal ceremony yesterday (skit), Mayor Bloomberg presented, not Dave, but Dave's Beard with a key to the city. It was a truly touching moment that I will not soon forget. I can only dream that one day, my face fur will achieve honorable status in some major metropolis.

Even while hypnotized by the power of Dave's "wise-ometer", I did notice one sad detail on his show last night. The topic for last night's Top Ten List was "Ten (go figure) Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having Sex With a Robot". This topic was chosen in response to an article about artificial intelligence scientist David Levy who claims that in 50 years robots will be so life-like that they will be indistinguishable from humans, and that we (not me) will be having sex with them.

As ridiculous as this sounds, I have no problem accepting this as a Late Show Top Ten List... except for the fact that the article was released THREE MONTHS AGO... and was extensively written about in my friend's blog on October 7th of 2007. (*DISCLAIMER: The linked article is not-so-appropriate, so if you are easily offended... do not open).

The point being, it's a sad day when college kids (with a laptop and too much free time) are ahead of the mainstream media (with billions of dollars and a writing team) by a whopping 90 days! Do you know what you can do in 90 days? I don't, but I am sure it amounts to a whole lot more than writing a list of ten things... In fact, I will spend the next ninety days making a list of eleven things that you can accomplish in 90 days just to prove my point.

I'm A Punkrocker. Yes I am.

2008-01-03T16:35:00.000-08:00

I am back in the beloved LBK ready for another five months of work before heading out into the great unknown. Iggy Pop is serenading me with his oh so irreverent lyrics of confused identity. Life is good.

My plane ended up being delayed by about 30 minutes, so since I had about two hours of waiting to endure before my flight, I went to the book store and purchased some literature. After looking at every single thing they had to offer, I selected a book called Against the Day. I have only read about a hundred pages, but so far it is really good.

Upon my arrival in the LBK, Taylor and I met up with Ryan and Louis at Crickets for a nice game(s) of pool. Every game that I played, I lost. It didn't matter who's team I was on, we lost. Even when we nearly ran the table, we lost. Long story short, we stayed out way too late, and I woke up in no mood to attend work. I called up to my office and told them that I was going to take the day off. Apparently, only one person in my office showed up today, so it was no big deal. With the burden of work off of my back, I spent the day in my underclothes unpacking and cleaning and doing laundry; it was a very domestic day. Ryan kept himself busy getting the band gigs for the semester. This is the band's schedule as of today:

1-11-08 Jazz 10pm-2am
1-31-08 Mesquite's 10pm-2am
2-02-08 Jazz 10pm-2am
*2-03-08 Crossroad's 11pm-2am
2-28-08 Jazz 10pm-2am
3-06-08 La Diosa Wine Cellars 10pm-2am
4-12-08 La Diosa Wine Cellars 10pm-2am

* Not for sure quite yet

So, I will start work tomorrow, but I don't know if I will be able to endure this horribly long work week. I may just have to take another vacation day. =) Anyway, since I will be working again, I will have plenty more inspiration to keep this beloved blog a'churnin. I will see you all tomorrow.

The Journey Without Travel

2007-12-26T12:39:00.000-08:00

December 26, 2007 2:40pm

I woke up wonderfully late today, something I haven't had the pleasure of enjoying in quite a while. Because of my late arrival into the waking world, I have my parents' house to myself. I love it. After I woke up, I took a shower and sat on the couch to watch my new Amon Amarth DVD while munching on a few peanut butter M &M's (my favorite). The DVD is awesome: 7 hours of Viking metal... yes, I said 7 hours. I cannot imagine a better way to spend an afternoon. I watched a about an hour of the DVD and decided that today was too nice to sit and veg on the couch eating chocolate. So, I walked outside onto the patio and took in the sights and sounds of Stafford, Texas.

The weather today is absolutely b-e-a-utiful. I am no human thermometer, but I would say that it is around 70 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, with a breeze learned from the west Texas school of wind. I am in heaven. While outside my thoughts immediately drifted back across the ocean to my days in Spain: To afternoons spent on a blanket in the park, reading books that I cared nothing about, but still managed to pour through simply because they were there to read. To the beaches of Tarifa, where an entirely ancient civilization lay within eyeshot across the Mediterranean Sea.

I always fall into these moments of nostalgia when I am in Houston. I think it has alot to do with the fact that while I am in Houston, I see a ton of family and friends that I usually only see once, maybe twice, a year. Because of this, our conversations typically revolve around the, "What are you up to?" and "What are your plans?" kind of questions... And since I am currently planning another trip to Europe, my mind is constantly dwelling on the other side of the world.

I thoroughly enjoy thinking on my time in Europe. Of course this is typical, however I think that my reason for enjoying these thoughts may be slightly different than the average study abroad vet... but I may be totally off base. I have never read anyone else's reflections on their journey to the Old World. When I think back to my time abroad, the things that stand out are not the huge cathedrals or the castles or the discos, it is mainly just the mindset that I was able to maintain while living there. This mindset was one of utter tranquility, a lack of hurry, and a never-faltering focus on the experience. Yes, I do remember the beaches, and the cathedrals, but it is the complete lack of stress and persistent mental loftiness that allowed me to fully embrace the things that I witnessed, and every morning when I wake up here in the States, it calls me back, and every morning I am closer to answering.

Is it possible to find it again? I don't know, but the only way to find out is to go.

Adja, Jimmy, Adja!

2007-12-22T11:35:00.000-08:00

I know that I am gonna catch flack for this, but I don't care. This is my blog, and I'll flip-flop if I want to, flip-flop if I want to, flip-flop if I want to. M.I.A. released her second album earlier this year to rave reviews from almost the entire radio station staff (i.e. Kim and Ben). When I first heard the album, I was mildly impressed, but nothing made me clap my hands and say YEAH! It was more like scratch my belly and say ok.

Upon divulging my thoughts about the new album to the afformentioned opinionists, I endured an onslaught of criticism stating that M.I.A. was the coolest thing since sliced (sourdough) bread, and that I deserved to listen to Culture Club for the rest of my life simply because I didn't get all warm and fuzzy in me nethers every time I heard her London-drunk, South Asian Chant. No offense to anyone (Ben), but I have a hard time taking serious music advise from someone who holds both Green Day and Daft Punk in their all time top ten. If that's what gets your heart beating, that's wonderful... but I feel differently.

To Ben's credit I will say, however, that I have recently found a new interest in M.I.A. Sadly, I must admit that my new found interest in M.I.A. was not fueled in any way, shape or form by her music. I saw an interview with her, and I realised that the previously absent warm fuzzies had appeared. So... I started watching a bunch of her YouTube videos the other day, and I came across her video for the song Jimmy. Ever since my first experience with the album, it has been my favorite song. To my latter dismay, however, I found out that Jimmy is nothing but the indie-pop response to Hung Up by Madonna.

I say this because Jimmy is a remake of a disco song featured in a 1970's Bollywood movie, just as Hung Up is a bastardization of Gimme Gimme Gimme by Abba. Now I realise that the majority (if not all) of the words have been changed in both of the songs, but it still depresses me that my favorite songs on both of these albums are quasi-covers.

So... the point? I am waiting for the day that electronic pop music will be developed enough to be original. Will it ever happen? Probably not, but a boy can dream.

On a different note, I am curious to see which versions of both songs are preferred by the masses. I have posted them all below, vote for the videos that you like the most. You must choose one from each set, ready? GO! (post your answer in the comments). Even if you don't vote, at least enjoy the free entertainment.

GROUP 1- Bollywood v. M.I.A.

Bollywood

M.I.A.

GROUP 2- Abba v. Madonna

Abba

Madonna

Viva Bien.

My Delusional Childhood

2007-12-19T07:15:00.000-08:00

In two days, I will be on the road, rolling hard south until I reach Houston for Christmas. These are strange days in the life of Kyle. It's always an odd feeling when I am preparing to visit my parents.

My parents are cool cats. They decided that the day that I turned eighteen, I was on my own. They no longer view themselves as my authority, but rather my counsel... and they have turned out to be really good counsel. We get along just about as good as anyone can get along with their parents, without having one of those hyper-codependent, Lorelai- Rory kinda things. (For all of you who are wondering... yes, I did just allude to The Gilmore Girls. Don't worry; it'll be ok.)

Anyway, when I go back to my parents' house, I always end up having a blast; but before I get there, I always have a strange uneasiness about the whole situation. I always get caught in this mental rut where my brain repeatedly reviews everything I've done since I last saw my parents and tries to file all the memories in the "Mention" or "Don't Mention" folder. This seems easy, but it's actually quite difficult. I am always paranoid that something will slip out in the middle of a story and totally ruin Christmas dinner.

For instance: (Christmas Dinner with the Extended Family)

My brother: "How was the (insert band name) show last week?" and I would respond, " It was cool, man. Do you remember Tom? Yeah, well before the show, we just went over to Tom's house and smoked a bunch of bowls and uhhh... I mean, crap. Goodnight, everybody!"

It seems ridiculous, but I've seen it happen... not to me of course, but to others. And let me tell you, my friends, they have burned for it. Man, have they burned.

My entire childhood, I never heard my Mother say a single vulgar thing, and my only memory of my Father saying anything vulgar was a singular fecal exclamation when he pulled out in front of another car and our entire family almost got roasted. So, as far as I knew, my parents were these perfect pillars of humanity. Now that I am older, though, I see that they are no different than I am. Of course, there are still things that I don't talk about, purely out of respect and a natural reluctance to disappoint them, but I know that if I needed to, I could. And that is all that matters.

Tuesday December 18th, 2007, 13:25

2007-12-18T10:52:00.000-08:00

The days pass slowly with so little to do
until night flies by though nothing is through
Pointless pulp of cotton tells me what to do
while dreams are abandoned with so much ado

He covered the world, never saw home
He found true friends, enjoys being alone
His guitar still rings it's lazy tone
His past never ceasing chills to the bone

Tonight will be legend, art made in a flash
Three minds will collide in a creative clash
Melody and rhythm peer through the trash
In regular intervals separated by ash

The Big Damn Band

2007-12-17T09:29:00.000-08:00

*This entry is intended mainly for people outside of the Lubbock area, simply because everyone I know in Lubbock (at least the ones who read this) probably already know about it.

A few months ago, I was introduced to the music of the Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band by Taylor. Since I was raised in what were essentially Baptist churches my whole life, I don't dance... That is, until the Big Damn Band shows up, then I shake my shit like I just can't quit!

They are a family band (Singer: Rev, Drums: Jamie- Rev's brother, and Breezy: Washboard- Rev's Wife). They hail from Indianapolis and they play what they have described as Mississippi Delta Boogie... I would describe it as the Bee's knees.

Their show at Bash's earlier this year was one of the most fun times I have had in a while. After looking at their website, I rolled on over to Wikipedia and found out that The Rev himself is only 26 years old! With a beard and a voice like that I was expecting at least 35.

Anyway, I just thought I would share some of the love. Here are some upcoming tour dates in the area... I highly recommend, nay I demand that you go see him:

Feb 1st- Austin @ Stubb's
Feb 3rd- Dallas @ House of Blues
March 11th- Houston @ Warehouse Live

If you happen to miss a show, do not despair. RPBDB is a touring machine, so you will get another chance sooner than later. Mahalo

Playing God Never Looked So Cool

2007-12-17T08:07:00.000-08:00

I want one and I want it now!!!!!

Day-glo Cats

If I can't have one of those, I will settle for this:

ALBA

Ron Pizzle Fo Shizzle My Nizzle

2007-12-17T06:42:00.001-08:00

With a face like that,I don't know how he does it, but this man is a money raising machine. According to an AP article, Ron Paul's campaign raised more than 6 million dollars over the internet in one day.

It's times like these that really make me want to be a politician. If I could get on this blog and say to complete strangers, "Hey, guys. Um, I am going to run in this campaign, and even though I will be nowhere close to winning, I still want you to give me 6 million dollars." That is freakin' unbelievable. I get dirty looks from my friends when I forget my wallet, and they have to buy me a dollar cheeseburger. I don't even want to know what would happen if I asked total strangers to give me money.

At the end of the day, though, I like Ron Paul... If I was going to contribute money to any presidential campaign, it would be his. To me, he seems to be running the perfect campaign, and he seems to have an unbreakable platform. I have heard people say that Ron Paul is an evil bigot who will get rid of public education, health care and social security... Um, good. And besides, his position is not to abolish all of these things; his position is that it is not the Fed's right to control them, because they are not powers granted to the Federal Government by the Constitution.

I don't care if you don't agree with the ideas that Ron Paul supports. If you think that the Federal Government should control education and pay for all the old and incapacitated and give everyone free health care, then vote for someone who will change the Constitution to allow the government the right to do so. Don't vote for someone who will continue to support our current bloated and over-indulgent government that will lead the U.S. down a path of destruction. The Constitution was written for a reason... let's use it.

Ron Paul is exactly what this country has lacked for a long time... He is experienced and he seems to know what America is (was) about. But most of all, he is a presidential candidate who is endorsed by Pimps and Ho's. What? Did I just say that? Well, yes I did:

Pimpin' for Paul

Vaya con Dios

The Bleeding Sun-Red Mountain Trower

2007-12-14T07:36:00.000-08:00

Thursday night I was cruisin' through cyberspace in pursuit of some new music, and I finally stumbled upon some goodness that has, apparently, just been sitting around in the music underground for thirty years. It's funny how I can never find the exact style of music that I'm looking for, but every time I look I always find something that's one step closer to "the perfect sound".

I am stuck on a big super-heavy, blues-saturated hard rock/vintage kick right now, and I was looking for some more bands that fit that sound. A few weeks ago, I saw a show at Jake's by a band named Blood of the Sun. They were awesome. Their drummer places his drum set at the front of the stage and plays some of the loudest drums I have ever heard, backed by two Les Pauls churning awesomeness out of Marshall and Orange amps. If there was ever a show that I should have worn earplugs at, it was this one. Anyway, I say all of that so that I can introduce, or re-introduce, some music to you that I have been enjoying.

So I searched Blood of the Sun on YouTube and came up with a band called Mountain.

I watched the video that came up, and it seriously almost made me wet my pants. The only word to describe it would be totally sweet (two words). So I clicked on another video by them and see some guy named Robin Trower, so I click on him. HOLY CRAP! This guy is freaking inhuman. The music that he plays is probably the closest to what I hear in my head all the time and closest to what comes out when I play by myself (only much more refined and complete). Everything about this song is amazing. I cannot see a single flaw in this performance. I would sell my right foot to have been able to see this.

*Unfortunately the user that posted the video has disabled embedding, so just click here and you can watch it on YouTube.

I must have been living under a rock my entire life, because I have never heard anything from these people... I take that back. I have heard Mississippi Queen by Mountain on Guitar Hero once, but that version sucks so it doesn't count. It didn't have any of the power that the original one has. Anyway, to be quite honest it is kind of embarrassing to admit that you have just now found out about these two quasi famous, still touring seventies bands through a no-name band out of Fort Worth, but hey there's always some one else out there just waiting to hear them, and it's our job to let them. Mahalo.

In The News

2007-12-14T07:08:00.000-08:00

I am not even going to comment on this one.

This one is is just slightly more than annoying. I don't personally watch much tv these days, so they can stay on strike as long as they want. Hollywood can go ahead and wither away for all I care... the world would probably be a better place anyway. I have never understood the concept of a strike... especially these days AND in Hollywood. No one is being forced to work in a 125 degree warehouse for $1 a day. I can guarantee that these people make more money than I do, but I am not standing out in front of the Foreign Language Building with sign that reads: "You can't spell 'Unnecessary request for additional compensation' without 'IT'".

And besides that, have you watched TV recently? It sucks. It's horrible. There are probably five or six shows on television that are even worth watching, and that list includes King of the Hill, the Simpsons, Family Guy and Metalocalypse. I say fire all of the writers and just buy some cheaper, more efficient ones from China.
I did find a very humorous line in this article, though...

"It [The Guild] also said it was irresponsible for the alliance to break off talks in the midst of the holiday season 'with thousands of our members and the membership of other unions out of work.'"

WHOOPS!!! I guess you should have thought about that before you walked out on your job!

HELP!!!!!!!!

2007-12-11T12:28:00.000-08:00

I will be in Houston from the 22nd of December until the 2nd of next year. I have not been able to find any concerts happening during those two weeks... If you know of ANYTHING that I would want to see, please let me know... either by phone, email, or a pair of tickets sent to my house. Thanks.

Kyle

Weekends................................................

2007-12-10T10:55:00.000-08:00

Some days it is surprisingly hard to find something worth writing about. After spending 30 minutes cruising the web, I have come up empty handed. Of course, there are always the shootings (again?), Vick's sentencing (*yawn*), The Brit that fed his murder victims to pigs (Brick Top, anyone?), but none of these stories really seem worth writing an entire post about them. I did find an article about the discovery of a gene that makes fruit flies bisexual, but again I am not really all that interested in the sexual preferences of insects. Since I have been unsuccessful in finding a topic, I will have to revert to the only thing I know anything about... ME!!!!!

This weekend the band played 3 gigs... Two at La Diosa and one at Jake's. Thursday night was La Diosa, and to be quite honest, we (I) were not looking forward to it at all. It's very difficult for us to play at venues like La Diosa. We don't really fit in there. We are loud and slightly trashy, and La Diosa is a quiet dimly lit wine bar that serves an entry level merlot for $7 a glass. However, our gig actually ended up going quite well, and the owner called us the next day and invited us to play again on Saturday for double our Thursday pay rate... not bad.

That brings us to Friday. After a full day's work, we headed up to Jake's to play a charity show for Toys for Tots sponsored by the Marines or the Army... I can't remember. Anyway, we opened the show for a band called Indigenous. They are a blues band from the mid-west. The singer, Mato, started the band with his brother on bass and his sister on drums, and over the past few years they have developed a pretty strong following. After a while, his brother and sister left the band, so he hired a backing band out of Omaha, named the Kris Lager Band and started playing shows.

They put on one helluva show. From my perspective, it was flawless. They had the crowd into it the entire time, and every member of the band was phenomenally talented. Needless to say, I had a great time. And on top of all that, they were extremely nice guys. When we played for Bleu Edmonson, (1) they weren't nearly as talented as the guys in Indigenous, and (2) everyone in Bleu's band was a total D-bag. The guys from Indigenous set a very good example for how a band should act. Their bassist even let me use his bass amp, for which I am forever grateful, so I let their drummer use my crash.

After the show, we all went and hung out at Erika's house until six in the morning. It was quite enjoyable. At her house we got into an all-night conversation about the effects of domination tactics on the minority mentality and how they affect equality in our society... Good stuff. I mean, honestly, what else is there to talk about at 4am on a Saturday morning?
My favorite part of the whole night was during the conversation with Erika and her friend Hannah when Cody preluded a comment that I was about to make.
Hannah had said something to the tune of, "But you can't think that way and claim a mindset of equality. In order for equality to exist it must be nurtured and considered paramount."
Now, Cody knows me pretty well. He knows that I don't let comments like that fly around in everyones' minds without taking a few shots at them first... As soon as Hannah finished her comment I see Cody lean over to Erika and say... and I quote, "Kyle lives for this kind stuff. Watch this, he's about to fuck her up." And I did, by saying that we were all coming into the conversation under the assumption that everyone deserves to survive (and is therefore equal), and that that idea was fundamentally false. Needless to say, that little comment kept the conversation going for another hour and a half. Eventually, Cody and I made back home (circa 6am) and began to prepare for our show on Saturday night (slept until 4pm).

Saturday was cold and dreary. Cody and I watched Forrest Gump and ate orange danishes until it was time to go to the show. Our show went well. It was nowhere near as good as our show Thursday, but we did ok. My quasi-boss, Beth came to the show with one of the Spanish TA's, Eileen... I also saw Sandy, who teaches ESL at Tech there. It was really good to see people that I know in the audience.

After La Diosa, Taylor's girlfriend, Jessica, threw a party until 3am at the Annex, which is basically across the alley from La Diosa. So we locked all of our equipment up at La D and walked over to the party, where I ran into a high school, Alex, that I have not seen since tenth grade... very fun. After the party was Whataburger, and after Whataburger was bed, and Sunday was spent doing absolutely nothing at all, in an attempt to recover from Friday and Saturday.

Now I am back at work. =(

P.S. We recorded the show at Jake's on Friday, so as soon as I get on top of my game I will post some songs to the myspace page and on here. Mahalo.

Bull

2007-12-05T10:34:00.001-08:00

In my never-ending pursuit of the heaviest music in the world, I have discovered (with the help of Tye) Weedeater. They hail from North Carolina and play what I would dub southern doom metal. There are definite blues influences in their sound, but they are not a prominent part of their sound, especially when compared to bands like DOWN. The vocalist (also on bass) throws down some of the nastiest growls I have ever encountered. This three piece has released three albums to my knowledge. The following video is off of their second album Sixteen Tons. I hope you enjoy (or at least appreciate.)

Oh, Oh, Oh, O'Reilly

2007-12-03T06:47:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I get annoyed. Sometimes, I just get plain pissed. The cause of the latter usually stems from some sort of media outlet (usually Fox) and today is no exception. Upon arriving at work, I stumbled across this article that I found through the Drudge Report (cool site). Because of the article, I decided to write Bill a letter and tell him what I think. I haven't actually sent the letter yet; I am going to clean it up a bit before I do that, but here is my unedited version that I scribbled down in a blinded rage.... I really need to stop reading/watching/hearing/being aware of the news. It has to be bad for you.

Billy boy, you have done it again. You have to be one of the most smartest people in the whole wide world. I have no idea how you do it... and by "it" I mean perform baseless, irresponsible character assassinations on your fellow Americans. In addition to creating even greater rifts in our society, you have also managed to single-handedly reconstruct the laws of the written word. You have portrayed Redacted as some ultra-harmful propaganda machine that was produced to ensure that our soldiers are murdered. The small fact that you have overlooked is that Redacted is a movie, an exercise in entertainment fiction. You consistently use what can only be described as psychological terrorism to convince your sheep of utter untruths. Oddly enough, these adventures in persuasion change what you write from a poor effort in fact to the gross embodiment of fiction.
You, Mr. O'Reilly, are the propaganda machine. You are the one who hops on television every night and tells the world (Americans age 65+) what they should and shouldn't believe using distorted facts and baseless assumptions.

Some excerpts:

"As one reader emailed, 'Saying you can't condemn Redacted without seeing it is like saying you can't condemn crystal meth without taking it.'"

Really? Meth = Movie? I'm confused. The last time I went to the movies I was not awake for thirty-six hours using a rusted pocket knife to carve neo-nazi tattoos into a hooker's ass... But who knows? Maybe it was just a bad movie.

"In a free society, Mark Cuban is entitled to make this despicable movie. Our military people have fought and died to give him that right. Isn't that ironic? Cuban uses his freedom and his money, made in America, to put our troops at further risk. How does the guy live with himself?"

No, it is not ironic at all. Mark Cuban has financed a film based on a TRUE story about those "military people who have fought and died to give him that right". He is not depicting the valiant warriors of which we all wish our military was entirely composed. That story has been done... to death.
Our country doesn't want to see God-inspired heroism. We want to see carnage, disgrace, and incomprehensible immorality. Why? Because it makes us feel normal. If anyone should realize this, you should.

I don't think you give DePalma enough credit. Who in the world would go see a movie about this Iraqi war that ended happily? No one. Because this struggle has not yet ended happily. To produce a movie about this conflict with a happy ending would be much more unethical (and dangerous) than what DePalma has done. He has made the only story that we crave pertaining to this war: a story of needless death and lawlessness.

This craving for blood and destruction is stronger now than ever, simply because we have attached our egos to this war. We have heard for so long through various media outlets that this war has been lost. We have heard no other opinion on the matter, other than that of the President (who has been saying the same thing for five years). We have heard this message for so long that we have lost faith that victory is even possible. And because of that, we have begun to desire a loss in this war, because if we win, we were wrong. We become the ones that failed to "stay the course". We become the godless communists that believed in nothing but the destruction of America.

I must also say that as far as I can tell, Redacted has only been released in ten cities across the United States. I do not live in any of those ten cities, nor had I even heard of the movie until I read your article. If you want Redacted to go away, just be quiet. Your rants have probably given this movie more publicity than they actually bought themselves. hmmmmmm...

Over and Under (Rated)

2007-11-29T14:04:00.001-08:00

1. Pre-mixed peanut butter and jelly.

2. Gogurt.

3. Windows Vista.

4. Kanye West.

5. The Presidential Election.

6. Frozen Pizza.

7. Old School Rap.

8. The iPhone.

9. Fruit Loops.

10. Herbal Essence Shampoo.

1. Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter.

2. The Bill Moyers Journal

3. Ron Paul

4. Nintendo Wii

5. Dj Screw

6. Jimmy John's

7. Lightnin' Hopkins

8. The Drudge Report

9. Strawberry Ice Cream

10. Southern Metal

That is all.

The (Black) KKK Took My Taylor Away

2007-11-29T07:55:00.000-08:00

Last night while browsing the internet, I stumbled upon an article discussing the death of Washington Redskin's player, Sean Taylor. I typically have absolutely no interest in anything that the sports media puts out, simply because I couldn't care less about sports. I will admit that every now and again I enjoy wasting a Sunday afternoon eating pizza and watching whatever football and/or golf game is on, but I would never pay to see one, nor am I very concerned about who wins. The other problem that I have with sports writing is that it never relates to anything outside of sports, and since I am not "inside" sports, it has no relevance to my life. This article I read by Jason Whitlock changed that.

First, I want to preface this discussion by saying that I think the term "Black KKK" is not entirely fitting. There is no highly organized politically aimed black group specifically targeting other black men (at least not that I know of), but I do understand why Whitlock uses the term. As he says, "The pain, the fear and the destruction are all the same."

Second, I was really impressed with some of the aspects of the article. His criticisms of the gangsta attitude are entirely relevant, as are his views pertaining to the legacy that Taylor left. If people don't want to be remembered as a thug, they shouldn't live like a thug. We all control our own legacy, and it's nobodies fault but our own when someone associates us with less than respectable things.

I do however take issue with some of the ideas in his article. Whitlock feels comfortable blaming Taylor's death (amongst others) on hip-hop culture's failure to promote education while funneling young blacks into self-destructive life patterns disguised as fame, fortune and consequence-free violence. I do not think that is the case. Well, I do think that is the case, but I don't blame hip-hop. Why? Because I love rap; I wear baggy pants, and I know every word to every song on Stankonia, and I drove two hours on a school night to go see Snoop Dogg and Slim Thug. However, I also realize that (1) guns don't make me strong; (2) it really is ok to work for minimum wage, and (3) poking anything with ovaries doesn't make me a man.

I also realize that music is entertainment, period.

There are no real "gangstas" in rap. A true gangster keeps his mouth shut, so anyone (at least in my opinion) whose only job is to talk about how bad he is and how many kilos he's sold has lost my respect.

Taylor and I had a conversation along these lines the other night, and he brought up a very good point. While sitting at a restaurant, a group of five or six guys came in completely blinged out. One of them had on a hoodie that was covered with silver dollar signs, and another had on a Scarface tall tee with a terribly obnoxious chain which hung nearly to his pants. Taylor brought up the point that if these guys truly worshiped Tony Montana, (which any episode of MTV Cribs will prove that they do), they would take off the chains and the tall tees, put on some nice clothes and go make some money. Tony Montana never rolled around Miami in a John Gotti t-shirt.

I definitely think that hip hop culture is having a negative affect on young kids these days, but I do not think that hip hop should be forced to change. Music is about expression. It is not a how-to manual or an advice column... it's entertainment, and it is up to the parents and families of these kids to teach them that. I am completely opposed to any sort of censorship in the arts, because no one has the right to tell anyone else what they can express. However, they do have the right not to listen. So don't blame the rapper when your kid gets shot by one of his enemies, blame your kid (or the person that shot him).

Mighty Mouse

2007-11-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

Have no fear, America. After 40 years of fear and loneliness, the greatest superhero has come back to help. This time, though, he has not returned to rid us unruly felines. Today it's all about cancer. You heard me, Mighty Mouse can cure cancer.

I don't know why we didn't figure this out a long time ago... I mean, seriously, how many mice do you know of that have been around for almost 70 years. None. But now, thanks to Mighty Mouse himself, we (I) may be able to continue basking in our (my) gluttonous, epicurian lifestyle without worrying about that ever growing and unrelenting beast we all know as cancer.

Using any stream of logical thought, it is obviously not a good idea to bet your life, or length of life, on the fact that cutting edge research will (might) cure a disease that you could have prevented on your own using small amounts of self control and a pinch of common sense, BUT this is America. I have a right to endulge in whatever I want, because every endulgence in which I partake is one that I have earned absolutely on my own (with the help of family and friends)... no one can take that away from me. Obviously, I am being slightly facetious. But researchers have breeded a mouse/mice that are imune to cancer, and I think that is freakin' amazing. We are getting to the point where we can eliminate one of, if not the most deadly forces against humanity.

No More Cancer

Now, a few questions remain: Will they be successful? Will the almost absolutely evil drug companies allow a cure for cancer to be available to the mainstream?

The answer that I have for these questions is, "I don't know". I hope that they are successful. I hope that the "cure" will be available to everyone, to an extent; however, I am not confident that the drug companies will allow it to happen. Obviously, they can't stop research, but they can, and as far as I'm concerned, will prevent this "cure" from being readily available. Why? Because there is no profit in curing desease. There is only profit in treatng it. All I know know is that statistically, I will need this protein that they have developed before my life ends, so I am pulling for them.

I Would Love To Live In A Foster Home

2007-11-27T08:08:00.000-08:00

Yankee Wusses

The Massachusetts congress will be debating a bill tomorrow that makes spanking (children) illegal. Wow. I won't say that I am surprised, but I will say that I am a little disappointed.

Over the last few weeks, I have been around multiple kids under the age of twelve. They are all decent kids, but they do all have one major flaw: A total lack of respect. Why? Because their parents are too nice or scared or weak or whatever to knock the crap out of them. Imo, there are some things for which a firm word is not a fitting punishment. For example:

The other day I was at the grocery store, and as I am walking down the cereal aisle, I see a child (no more than 5 years old) throw a box of Fruity Pebbles down on the floor and scream,

"I hate you, Mom. I hope you burn in hell!"

As soon as I heard/saw this, I just knew the mom was going to start wailing on him, as she rightfully should have, but no... she proceeded to try and grab his flailing arms while softly saying, "Now, Parker. That's not very nice." WTF!?!?!?

First of all, my kids will never say anything like that to me, at least not to my face, and not until they hit puberty. No one... and I mean no one can control a mid pubescent American teen. Secondly, if my kid did say something like that to me, his face would have a collision with the back of my hand before he even finished his sentence.

There is an epidemic raging throughout the U.S. these days. It's called Piss-poor Attitude Syndrome, or P-pas for short. Children today have this idea that the entire world starts and stops at their command, and nobody is willing to stand up and tell these kids that they are dead wrong. Now, I will admit that I suffered from P-pas when I was younger, but my parents were always quick to administer the medicinal backhand, and I was therefore cured.

I don't want to get messages saying that child abuse is wrong, and that I am a horrible person for advocating violence toward children, because I am not advocating violence... I'm advocating discipline. And in case you haven't realized it, pain is a beautiful motivator. If you don't believe me, answer the following questions:

1. How many times have you touched a stove burner?

2. How many times have you gotten your hand caught in a mouse trap?

I have feeling that your answers to those questions are somewhere in the region of 0-2 times. If they are higher, I have pity on you.

Here's a hypothetical situation to help further illustrate the importance of pain as a behavioral control device.

-While cooking dinner, a parent tells their child not to touch the stove. They also tell their child not to eat any candy because dinner is almost ready.

-The child sneaks into the pantry and eats a king size Butterfinger (his favorite), and after finishing the candy, he walks by the stove and places his hand in the middle of the burner.

-The parent, who ran to the other room to answer the phone, never witnessed either act of disobedience. Which action is more likely to continue in the future?

Remember, the point of discipline is to break the will of the child, not the spirit. So don't beat your children; but for my sake, no... for the world's sake, please, please, PLEASE spank your children.

All that to say that I really hope this law never makes it to Texas, because I would, without a doubt, end up in jail.

Don't Try It. You Might Die.

2007-11-26T10:56:00.000-08:00

The days of being thankful have now passed, and after a healthy dose of Jimmy John's I am refreshed and ready to take on the remaining few weeks before Christmas break.

I spent the holiday with my Aunt and Uncle who live in Amarillo with their nine year old daughter, Kaitlynn. My grandparents decided to make the trip as well. My grandparents live in East Texas, and their trip to Amarillo was the furthest my grandma had ventured from home in seven years. Considering that, it was no shock that she was all too worried when I told her about my plans to hike halfway across the European continent with nothing but a backpack and a friend.

Up until this point in planning my trip, I never had a single stripe of fear enter my mind. I have definitely experienced minor anxiety when I've allowed my mind to delve deep into my future journey, picturing myself in the middle of the Hungarian countryside with only a map and a compass to guide me home... but never fear. Immediately after explaining our plans, my grandma (and my Aunt) ask the following question:

"What are you going to do if someone tries to rob you?"

"I won't really have much to offer them, so I would assume that they would realize the futility in robbing two pilgrims on a trek across a continent and leave me be"

"Well, If you don't have any money to give them, they may just try to kill you."

I don't know if I am under-prepared or if they are just paranoid mothers, but the thought of being mugged or murdered has never even crossed my mind. But since they brought it up, I am having a very difficult time avoiding this new-found paranoia.

Call me naive or idealistic, but I really don't view the foreign world as a minefield waiting to blast me into the afterlife. First of all, I don't think I could live a happy life thinking that everyone is out to get me. And secondly, that has never been my experience... abroad or at home. I have a tendency to maintain faith in people or peoples until they prove to me that it is not warranted. I'm not saying that I blindly trust every hobo that says he won't buy crack with the $5 I just gave him, but I also don't assume that he will stab me in the spleen if I refuse to help him out. I basically follow the golden rule. If I am open and honest with someone, I expect the same from them, and I think that is a fair way to approach the world.
Besides, when a forty year old heroin addict approaches you in the streets of Spain and asks you to accompany him into a dark alley to partake in quasi-naked activities, it's pretty obvious that he does not have your best interest in mind. Always trust your instincts. They are there for a reason.

I just realized that I have not even discussed my trip on here yet, so sometime soon, I will post some more of the details.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My brother's birthday is rapidly approaching (the 4th), and I have absolutely no idea what to get him. The obvious choice would be music or a book, but he has every cd that I own and has probably read three times the literature that I have. What ever happened the age old tradition taking the birthday boy down to Juarez and buying him a bottle of tequila and a woman? Oh yeah, AIDS and gonorrhea. Oh well. =) If you have any suggestions on what to buy a 17 yr. old kid who loves death metal and is oh-so-slightly more innocent than I... holla at ya boy.

------------------------------------------------------

I feel like I am a thousand years old and every aspect of my life is chomping at the bit to remind me of this. I spent the weekend, as I said before, with my 9 yr. old cousin. I can remember when she was born... hell, I remember when my 17 yr. old brother was born. I was sitting in preschool watching Transformers and my Aunt Debbie picked me up and took me to the hospital. It makes me feel ancient when when I can remember the day that other adults were born... especially when you don't really feel like your own childhood has left quite yet.

I guess that feeling comes in when you confuse "childhood" with having fun. I know I am not a child anymore. My sore shoulder that I achieved by playing Wii for two hours yesterday is quick to remind me of that. But throughout my whole life, everyone said "enjoy it now, because it only gets harder as you get older." I never liked it when people said things like that. It puts a premortem death date on everything that you desire to do. When you are 10, you feel like you have 8 years left to enjoy before everything goes straight to hell and life becomes an unrelenting uphill battle to the grave. I certainly don't feel that it has been that way for me, and I hope that it never will.

As you can tell, I have been struggling lately with the idea of aging. I have become acutely concerned with maintaining my childhood ideals while at the same time "growing up". Right now, I fear "settling down" more than anything else in the world. Everyone that I know who is married talks about it like it is a great thing, yet there is always this underlying sense of resentment or regret in their voices. They all seem like if they had the chance, they would do things differently, and that scares the crap out of me. Maybe I was born to wander.

Anyway, my lunch break is over and I must return to work, I promise that I will post some less "woe is me and my 1/3 life crisis" entries soon enough. Remember, enjoy your day, because someone might murder you tomorrow.

(((0 The Always Setting Sunn 0)))

2007-11-18T21:32:00.000-08:00

Everybody meeds a little bit of downtime.

Mine was claimed today. After waking up at 1:30pm I proceded to order a pizza and grab a beer(BTW Dominoes Pan Pizza is a total rip-off). The pizza arrived and was soon devoured throughout a presentation of Super Troopers. The original plan of using my Sunday to do laundry was thwarted by one of my roommate's friend who had claimed it long before I woke. It was no big deal... I was kinda glad I could just veg.

I finally got my hard drive hooked up and functioning correctly, so I dedicated a few (4) hours to acquiring new music via the internet. I have no idea what to do with this hard drive. I have never owned a hard draive larger than 40gb, and this new one is 250gb. After being subject to such restricting storage for so long, it's kinda hard to get used to. I feel like a ho-bo who just moved into a 20,000 square foot mansion.

My sister called me today. I had left her a message yesterday concerning a package I sent to her. Our concersation was quite enjoyable. I haven't talked to a single member of my family for that long in many months. It was definitely deserved. We haven't talked in a long while

Lost Dog

2007-11-16T07:02:00.000-08:00

One of My friends, Luis, found a puppy near his house the other day. His landlord will not allow him to keep it, so he is looking for someone to give it to. From what I can tell, the dog is healthy, and it looks like it is part German Shepherd. If you are interested, let me know.

Advocating Creator

2007-11-15T06:49:00.000-08:00

Once again, the unrelenting boredom that is 40 hours a week has decided to lead me down the path of useless Facebooking. I saw that one of my friends added a new app to her page. I got bored, and I added it.
The app was your basic personality test that tells you and everyone else "exactly what you're like". I must say... it's not too far off. Perfect? no. Close? yes. At least I think it is. You should read over it and let me know whether or not you think it's close as well.

Home-aphobic

2007-11-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and had this terrible feeling. At first I thought it was heart burn, then I thought maybe I was just hungover... then I realized that I am getting old. This is, of course, a ridiculous thing to say (due mostly to the fact that I am statistically not even 1/3 dead yet), but that doesn't keep the feeling from coming back again and again. You know what I am talking about... That pain in your back that comes unannounced and uninvited absolutely sans motive. The frustration you feel when you hear a baby crying in a restaurant (something that never bothered me before). I can't even honestly say that "old" is the correct word for it.

Maybe I am just tired. Everything going on right now seems so boring and routine. I am burned out on life in Lubbock. In two months, I will have been here for five years. FIVE YEARS. That is a long time for anyone to stay in Lubbock... especially someone originally from a MUCH bigger place.

When I look back on all the things that I have done in Lubbock, I am happy. We did some cool stuff... breaking into the Pioneer hotel, inventing the sport of Soccer Tennis (I still have no idea why that never caught on), building snow penises in my neighbor's yard, Spain, Lager and The Fatties, Urban Squirrel Hunting, etc... We (I) had a great time throughout my entire college life.

But when I look ahead to my future in Lubbock, I don't get that same feeling. I don't even get that fear-peppered anxiety that I got when I moved here in the first place. I have a feeling of great impending doom and mental claustrophobia. Lubbock is so isolated (geographically and mentally) that it's a hassle and a half to relocate to any decent city on the planet... I think that's how they get ya. They lure you in with promises of pretty girls and good football, and by the time you find out that most of the girls here are not worth a second conversation and our football team sucks, you realize that you are three hundred miles away from any sort of "civilized community".

I will admit that Lubbock has a place in my heart, but this is inevitable when you spend so much time in a certain location. All of my affection for Lubbock though, is aimed at (1) my friends that I have met here and (2) the weather. Unknown Lubbockians or Lubbockites, or whatever you want to call them, typically do nothing but piss me off, as do both the city council and Texas Tech University Administrators. I have a feeling that if I don't get out of here soon, I will end up doing something retarded... like never leaving.

Keep Moving,
Kyle

For Sale: Slightly Used Soul, Will Trade for Bicycle

2007-11-14T09:33:00.000-08:00

D a y s
drift
by
sunless and cold
I.fear.that.too.fast.I.am.growing.old
M
e
m
o
r
i
e
s
once bought can never be $old
and
we toward death
can only
watch her unfold

Soundtrack for 2007

2007-11-12T06:59:00.000-08:00

I was thinking earlier today that it might be time to make my "Best Albums of 2007" List.
There is only one problem... I can honestly say that I cannot name (at least not off the top of my head) 10 albums released this year that I would put on my list.
So I decided instead to list the songs that I listened to the most this year, regardless of when they were made.
The following is in no particular order... wait, alphabetical order.

Birdman and Lil' Wayne- Leather so Soft
From: Like Father Like Son

Bongzilla- 666lb. Bong Session, Stone a Pig, Keefe Master
From: Gateway

Boris- Huge, Gambou-Ki, Vomitself, Farewell, Pink, Blackout, Just Abandoned My-Self
From: Amplifier Worship, Pink

Deftones- No Ordinary Love (Sade Cover), Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want (Smiths Cover), Hexagram, Battleaxe
From: Deftones, B-Sides and Rarities

Del Rey- Olympus Mons, A Brief Strangle, Stemrick
From: A Pyramid For The Living

Dimmu Borgir- Progenies of the Great Apocalypse, Vredesbyrd, Blood Hunger Doctrine
From: Death Cult Armageddon

DJ Screw and the Screwed Up Click- South Side Groovin'
From: unknown

Down- Pillamyd, Doob Interlude, Learn From This Mistake, Losing All
From: Nola, A Bustle in Your Hedgerow, Over The Under

Dying Fetus- Praise The Lord (Opium of the Masses), Bringing Back The Glory
From: Destroy The Opposition, Grotesque Impalement

Eagles of Death Metal- Midnight Creeper, Shit Goddamn, Cherry Cola
From: Peace Love Death Metal, Death By Sexy

El Perro Del Mar- Sad, Party, Dog, Coming Down the Hill
From: Baby, I've been in a Bad Place, El Perro Del Mar, I've Got Good News

EyeHateGod- Bland, $30 Bag
From: Take as Needed for Pain

Godspeed You Black Emperor- Providence, Dead Flag Blues
From: f#a# (infinity)

Herbie Hancock- Chameleon
From: Head Hunters

Interpol- The Heinrich Maneuver, Not Even Jail, Slow Hands
From: Antics, Our Love To Admire

Jeanette- Porque Te Vas
From: unknown

Job For A Cowboy- Entombment of a Machine, Reduced to Mere Filth
From: Genesis, Doom

Julieta Venegas- Limon y Sal, Eres Para Mi
From: Limon y Sal

Kyuss- Rodeo, Gloria Lewis, Size Queen, 50 Million Year Trip
From: ... And The Circus Leaves Town, Blues for the Red Sun

Lee Scratch Perry- Sons of Slaves, Rainy Night in Portland
From: The Singles Collection

Leftover Crack- Clear Channel (fuck off), Burn Them Prisons, Atheist Anthem
From: Mediocre Generica, Fuck World Trade

Mastodon- Pendulous Skin, The Wolf is Loose, Colony of Birchmen
From: Blood Mountain

Meshuggah- I, Mind's Mirror, Straws Pulled at Random, Disenchantment
From: I, Catch 33, Nothing

Motorhead: Killed By Death, Blue Suede Shoes
From: No Remorse

Neil Young- Southern Man, Down By The River
From: After The Gold Rush, Everybody Knows This is Nowhere

Nile- Annihilation of the Wicked, Lashed to the Slave Stick, The Essential Salts
From: Annihilation of the Wicked, Ithyphallic

Pig Destroyer- Piss Angel, Cheerleader Corpses, Boy Constrictor
From: Prowler in the Yard, Painter of Dead Girls, Terrifyer

Radiohead- Nude
From: In Rainbows

Samuel L. Jackson- Stack-o-Lee, Allie Mae
From: Black Snake Moan Soundtrack

Sleep- Dragonaut
From: Sleep's Holy Mountain

Suicidal Tendencies- Institutionalized
From: Suicidal Tendencies

Sunn 0)))- It Took The Night To Believe, Orthodox Caveman, Bathory Erzebet
From: Black One

The Sword- Freya
From: Age of Winters

Teddybears- Punkrocker
From: Soft Machine

Tom Waits- Road To Peace
From: Orphans: Brawlers Bawlers & Bastards

Tool- 10,000 Days, Lipan Conjuring, Right In Two
From: 10,000 Days

Weedeater- God Luck and Good Speed, For Evan's Sake, Weedmonkey, Bull
From: God Luck and Good Speed, Sixteen Tons

Wolf Parade- I'll Believe in Anything
From: Apologies to the Queen Mary

Wolfmother- Mind's Eye, Colossal
From: Wolfmother

Z-Ro - Help Me Please, Same One
From: Let The Truth Be Told

ZAO- American Sheets on the Deathbed, Praise the War Machine, The End of His World
From: The Fear Is What Keeps Us Here, The Funeral of God, Self Titled

Rohypnol for Toddlers

2007-11-08T07:11:00.000-08:00

Why didn't we ever have toys like this when we were kids?

'Date Rape Drug' China Toy Recalled

Granite Floats

2007-11-06T11:46:00.000-08:00

This weekend, the boys and I are heading down south to Lake LBJ. We have been booked to play both Friday and Saturday night at Patton's on Main in Marble Falls (North of Austin). It should be a great time. If you happen to make your way into Austin this weekend, come on out, have a beer and listen to some not-so-horrible music.

However, I am struggling with who to cheer for in the game on Saturday. Naturally, I should be supportive of Tech since I did go to school there, (and currently work there); but if Texas wins, that means more people will go out, which means more people will get drunk, which means more people will dance, which means more fun all around. I honestly think that Texas is going to win no matter what I say, so I guess I should just stop talking and play the bass.

Hang like a Horse

2007-11-05T06:38:00.000-08:00

The other day I was roaming the digital highway that is the internet, and I stumbled across a YouTube video. This video features a musical instrument known as a Hang Drum (pronounced "Hung").

The drum was invented by Felix Rohner and Sabina Scharer. The word Hang means "hand" in a dialect of Swiss... Don't quote me on that. I am merely passing on information that I have stumbled upon throughout the internet. As far as I know, the only way to get one is through the company PANart, since they are the ones that invented the instrument.

The only problem is that PANart is either trying to be super-indie with this whole unique drum thing, or they are just complete idiots that shouldn't own a business. I say this for the following reasons:

They do not have a website. They have no online distributors. There is no way to get into contact with these people except by arranging (via fax, no less) a personal visit with them in Bern, Switzerland. Now I can understand that two people can't make enough hand-tuned steel drums for the entire world, but at least set up a web site that allows people to be put on a waiting list... I mean seriously.

The only other crappy part about the Hang Drum is that for 2008 the quoted cost for one is 1,200 Euros or $1,737... ouch. Very ouch. Needless to say, your beloved blogger will not be purchasing one for quite a long while, BUT I am still in search of one.
And despite all of the inconveniences and expenses that this drum seems to bring along with it, I still think that it's freakin' cool. So, even if I only get to play one, I think that will be good enough. If you find one, let me know.

Wiki Hang Drum

The Hang Blog

The Hang Forum

Sad News

2007-11-05T06:22:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, my little cousin, Kaitlyn, got herself into a nasty bike accident. She ended up cracking her skull in two places and an air pocket has developed in between her skull and her brain. As of right now she is maintaining her condition (which is stable). My mom said that she is sleeping a lot and that is about it.
I just wanted to spread the word to anyone who reads this and knows her, and even if you don't know her, just send positivity her way, in whatever way you believe appropriate.

For All The Troops in Iraq and Iran

2007-10-30T06:14:00.000-07:00

The Demo is done. We finished our recording this weekend in relatively good time. Now, the quality of the recording is nowhere near where it should be, but this was not an album, it was merely a demo to show to bars. I had a great time in Tyler. We got to see Ryan's cousin John and his family. John came up with his wife to see us play in Aledo. They are definitely cool kids. They just bought a house in Tyler, so we spent a little time over there.

On Saturday night, we went to a metal show at a pool hall, and I can say with unbridled confidence that it was the worst metal show that I have ever experienced. Both of the bands were horrible beyond all description. The last band that played had like 4 (2) singers and spent literally half of their set talking and hyping themselves up. Here's an excerpt from the concert:

Note: All of the vocalists' lines are to be read in an East Texas accent using your best death metal growl

Vocalist 1
"You know what guys... it's time for us to rock this fucker out! Are you ready?!?!"
Crowd
"woo."
Vocalist 2
"Now I know you guys can do better than that. My boy just asked you fuckers if you are ready... So, are you ready?!?!?!?"
Crowd
"wooo."
Vocalist 1
"Now this next song is about the fuckin war, and you know why? because we support our troops. No matter why they are over there, we need to support them so that they can keep kickin' ass. So this one goes out to all the soldiers in Iraq and Iran."
Vocalist 2
"Now we wrote this song a long time ago, and it shows how every single motherfucker in this band is family. These are my brothers. We aren't like all those pussy bands that break up as soon as things get tough. We are in this for life."
Someone in the crowd
"Shut up and play!!!!"

That was pretty much how the show went for over an hour. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the two metal bands were separated by a wet T-shirt contest...... It was the worst thing that I have ever seen. Horrible, just Horrible. Tyler is not the place to see a wet T-shirt contest.

All in all, it was a good weekend. No one got hurt, sick, or in a fight. That's all I can ask for.

What's that? You hear somethin' boy? Well keep a callin'. Keep a callin'.

Tyler... Tyler Texas

2007-10-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

METAL!!!!!!!!

After work today, the band is driving down to Tyler to record a demo. I have no idea why it's necessary to drive for eight hours just to record a demo, but there's free food and a nice house to stay in so I think it will be a fun time.
The only reason we are going to Tyler is to use Ryan's Mom's equipment. She teaches music at an elementary school and has given us permission to hang out in the auditorium all day and record all we want... fun fun. I don't think that school knows what's about to happen to it.

The trip will probably not end up anything like what I just described, so when I get back I will tell the "real" version. Have a great weekend.

Fascion

2007-10-26T08:08:00.000-07:00

Pull yer britches up, boy!

Louisiana is letting me down. Earlier this week, the Port Allen City Council officially banned baggy pants from being worn in public, in an effort (I can only assume) to reduce the visibility of gang related activities and people. (Also known as racial discrimination). The city has decided that anyone caught with their pants down below their waist will be fined anywhere from $25 to $250, and repeat "offenders" can be fined up to $500.

Typically, something like this would send me into a week-long rant about personal rights and individuality, but not today. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I've stopped caring, or maybe my waining youth has left me with an appreciation for the soul killing isolation brought on by oppressive government policy. I am honestly quite impressed that a law making body in the U.S.A. has balls big enough to tell people what the can and cannot wear... not even that; they are telling people HOW to wear their clothes. Just thinking about it fills me with a warmth that only senseless totalitarian ideals can kindle.

I am glad that something like this is happening. For a while now, things have been pretty normal/boring, and I am glad that people like the Port Allen City Council are willing to shake things up a bit. Whether for better or worse, change is always good.

TOP STORY

2007-10-25T06:33:00.000-07:00

I just got to work; and to my amazement, this was the first thing that popped up on Yahoo. Of course Texas is mentioned...

Grunt

I will never again be amazed by what we call news.

"Zero point No Million Dollars"

2007-10-24T11:40:00.001-07:00

That is the amount of money that our friend and candidate Stephen Colbert has raised for his 2008 presidential campaign. To some, this seems like a paltry, almost non-existent, sum of money, a purely disappointing figure; but to others, this is pure genius. Why? I'll explain that later. But first:

ABC News reported today that Colbert, if he is not careful, may run into campaign finance issues. Reporter Rick Klein stated, "If his campaign plays out the way he's indicated that it will, Comedy Central and Colbert's sponsor, Doritos, could be violating federal laws that bar corporations from backing political campaigns, election law experts say."

Saying that paying Mr. Colbert for his TV show = contributing to his campaign is like saying that giving a freshman a Stafford Loan to attend college = soliciting drugs and alcohol to a minor. Now obviously when you give an 18 year old kid $3,500, he is going to buy drugs and alcohol, and when you pay a presidential candidate $2,000,000 he is going to buy votes... but does that mean that it should be illegal?

I think not. I am no legal expert, but I am pretty sure that campaign finance laws deal mostly with free money i.e. "...contributions may not exceed in the aggregate $2000..." I am not sure that there is a single section that deals with candidates having a day job.
In the end, it will all depend on how the law is worded. Technically, even if Colbert continues to work on his show during his campaign, not a single dime that he receives from Comedy Central can be considered a campaign contribution... it's just his salary for doing the show. As long as Comedy Central puts a disclaimer at the beginning of his show with something to the effect of... "The views and opinions expressed... in no way endorse Stephen Colbert for President." Case closed.

Another point to be considered is that Colbert can do whatever he wants simply because he doesn't really exist. This is a character from a television show. He isn't even a real person. What would happen if Spider-man ran for president and violated campaign finance laws... would they arrest Peter Parker? Or would they go straight to Stan Lee?
Campaign finance laws only apply to candidates. A candidate is defined by the FEC as a person who has raised $5000 or more to pursue political office. Colbert doesn't qualify in the eyes of the law as a candidate on either of the terms presented in that definition. He is not a person; he is a character. He hasn't raised $5,000; He has raised "zero point no million dollars".
Better yet, Colbert is planning to run on BOTH the Republican and Democratic tickets... How amazing would it be if the Presidential Race in '08 came down to Colbert v. Colbert? I have a feeling that a situation like this would tear a hole in the universe, bringing all existence to a bitter end. Go for it, Colbert.

All quotes from: Randomly Labeled News Link
Picture found at: Rarely Updated, Probably Forgotten Blog

The Colbert Nation

2007-10-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

"I shall seek the office of the president of the United States."

Sweeter words my ears will never hear. I know that there is no chance of Colbert ever becoming president, but I can't help but think that it would be fun. Just think about how much better our government would be with a comedian in the Oval Office...

I think it's about time we shake things up a bit (and by "we" I mean someone in the media with lots of money and cult following comprised mostly of stoners that are too faded to change the channel after the Daily Show ends).

It would be nice to have a change of atmosphere among the ruling elite. Nothing but positive things would come from a President that really didn't take himself too seriously, or anyone else for that matter.

I'm tired of thinking that the President is an asshole or an idiot. I want a President that I respect and admire, like Roosevelt... Teddy not Franklin. A President that spends his free time clearing brush is not for me. A President that plays the saxophone on late-nite TV shows is not for me, but a President that can make fun of both of them with uncompromising sarcasm... that's for me.

It could work.